


XXII: Moon

by ActuallyMarina



Series: XXII [1]
Category: Persona 3
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Crossing Timelines, F/M, Memory Loss, Near Future, Past Character Death, Possession, Reunions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9402503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActuallyMarina/pseuds/ActuallyMarina
Summary: A girl with curious, crimson eyes died to save the world, but so did a scrawny boy that Shinjiro never really spoke to. These two people flooded sections of his memory in both large and small parts, and yet they never co-existed in a single one.





	1. Chapter 1

_“You’re just leaving?”_

_Shinjiro only had one bag slung over his shoulder, which he looked over to meet the conflicted gaze of his only friend. It was clear that Akihiko was of two minds about the situation; as if he wasn’t happy with it but accepted that he could do nothing to change it. He’d really matured over the past year._

_“Tell your friends it was nice to meet them,” he replied simply. With that, he left the dormitory and all of the bad memories it contained behind him._  

 

Friday nights were almost always the busiest, but that wasn’t such a bad thing. As long as Shinjiro had something to do with his hands, he was able to shut off his brain until his shift was over. Tatsumi Port Island only seemed to get more crowded over the past few years, which might explain how he was still seeing new faces so often. 

You’d think the whole Apathy Syndrome scare would make people think twice, but no one seemed to remember. That’s how it goes, isn’t it? Some high school kids save the world and everything goes back to normal. No one gave a second look to the homeless teenagers sprawled out over the city unless they got caught stealing a jacket during winter. No one wondered who had to pay to correct the mistakes a bunch of selfish adults made.

They just kept building their skyscrapers higher and higher. Maybe the higher up they were, the less dirty everything below looked. Shinjiro wouldn’t know; he’d never been up in any of those buildings and couldn’t imagine he’d ever get there.

The kitchen suited him fine, anyway. Line cook wasn’t the type of job he ever imagined himself taking, but his life had more or less sorted itself out since everything calmed down. Club Escapade was close by and the manager didn’t care that he didn’t have a formal education. His constant, insincere smile was hard to look at for too long, but he was a decent person. He said that two years of high school was ‘close enough’ and didn’t ask what put Shinjiro into the hospital when his friends were graduating.

He wasn’t proud to admit that he let his mind wander while working with knives or quickly plating hot food, but he’d yet to make any big mistakes so it was probably fine. It was kind of nice to pretend things were normal for a little bit, and that’s how work was for him. Aki always said he ‘got in his own head’ too much, whatever that meant.

Even if he had a point, it was a stupid saying.

“Hey,” a casual voice cut-in, interrupting his usual cyclical thought process. Steam from the large industrial sink crept up his forearms, sleeves rolled up to keep them from getting damp. He finished scrubbing the few dishes that had piled up, not bothering to turn and see who was vying for his attention.

“Hey,” the voice said again, with a little extra emphasis that didn’t concern itself with appearing tactful. They didn’t wait for acknowledgement this time. “Your shift ended half an hour ago, Shinjiro-kun. If you really don’t have anything better to do than wash dishes here for free, please don’t say so. It’ll just bum me out.”

Shinjiro grimaced as he wiped his hands on a clean dish towel that was hanging nearby, taking a moment to wipe his face as well before turning to his co-worker. She was a perky but very blunt girl with tan skin and hair that was always twisted into a tight bun that never budged an inch during her shifts. He didn’t know much about styling hair, but he figured that meant she was very good at it. The low, stubby ponytail he pulled his hair into for work never stayed neat-looking for long.

“I wouldn’t have to do this if we weren’t short on help lately,” he replied flatly, dropping the dish towel over the edge of the sink where it belonged. “Thanks for reminding me to leave, though. Now it’s your job to pick some lucky sucker to clean the stove - and I mean the whole thing this time.” He almost added that he didn’t care whether or not his acting like a sad sack with nowhere to be on a weekend night bummed her out or not, but it wasn’t worth it. He learned the hard way in high school that being an asshole was never a good default way to approach people you saw often.

She smiled and kept up her usual friendly chitchat as he grabbed his things and got ready to leave the kitchen. He offered the occasional ‘uh huh’ or ‘hm’ (the friendliest gesture he could muster up these days) as he tidied and hung up the white jacket he wore while cooking, eventually slinging a heavy red pea coat over his arm. It was pretty similar to his old one, and he was glad Aki didn’t see him often enough to notice yet. At some point he grew attached to the burgundy color, so sue him.

“‘Night.” Shinjiro cut his co-worker off mid-sentence, but she mostly seemed glad that he was finally ready to go home and do nothing all night long. He knew this because she made sure to say so as he slipped out of the kitchen and into the main area of the club. 

Like always, his eyes narrowed as soon as all of the multi colored strobe lights came into view; flashing in every direction from their home on the ceiling above the dance floor. The noise didn’t take long to get used to, even if he had hated it at first. It wasn’t easy to admit, but it was nice to hear so many people having careless fun after everything that happened.

They were survivors, whether they knew it or not, and his eyes would casually scan the crowd for regulars as he went for the exit. It wouldn’t kill him to catch someone’s eye and give a nod, if only to say ‘hey I see you there’. These kind of kids might get in less trouble if someone was around to at least acknowledge that they exist once in awhile. It might not have been enough to help someone like _him_ turn out better, but hopefully these kids didn’t have the problems he did back then.

Back then. Shit, this is why he just wanted to cook and do dishes all day.

Under the dark t-shirt he had on, an ache radiated from the place he’d been shot a few years prior. The wound had healed better than the doctors ever expected, but this still happened from time to time. He would remember his brief encounters with that quiet, scrawny blue haired kid, then waking up to hear that he’d gone and died to save the world like some kind of teenage messiah.

Not that he didn’t appreciate the sentiment and whatnot, but maybe all that massive bloodloss managed to fuck his head up a little during his prolonged stay in the hospital. A nagging feeling came from some uncomfortable spot inside his skull, demanding his attention if he didn’t try hard enough to ignore it.

Shinjiro would have died if not for the watch in his coat pocket.

The doctors nearly created a national holiday out of this fact, but it never made sense. Sure, he’d seen the broken remains of the watch with his own eyes, but it shouldn’t have happened that way. 

The watch had been missing for months, after all. He was starkly aware of that, considering it was one of the only nice things he’d ever owned. It wasn’t in his coat that night. He hadn’t put it there, and there was no way in hell anyone else slipped it in without him noticing.

But it was there that night and saved his life, even if he was still out of commission for the more dramatic events of the remaining year. Still, he remembered very little about what actually happened. Meeting Ken Amada, those Strega bastards arriving on the scene, the sting of cool October wind burning his bloodied flesh, and…

Telling her not to cry.

  

_His room always seemed unusually cold, but an oppressive chill took over the entire space the night that she stubbornly demanded to meet him there. Maybe it was selfish to wish she had slept in his arms that night instead of returning to her own room, sharing the unique warmth that radiated from every inch of her skin with him._

_But she had class the next morning, and he figured that he would probably be dead soon anyway._

 

A popular EDM song started to play, and the resounding cheer of approval from the crowd nearly knocked Shinjiro off of his feet. His chest wasn’t hurting anymore, but someone did manage to grab his attention from the crowd.

A slender girl wearing a big smile and a curled ponytail was dancing with a group of friends, all of them laughing and swaying to the bass-heavy music. Despite the gel colors on the lights tinting every figure on the dance floor from head to toe, Shinjiro knew she had shiny auburn hair and piercing red eyes.

It had to be her.

But… was it? He would know this girl at age 16 from a mile away, but is this how she would look four or five years later? Shinjiro wondered how he could even begin to find out for sure, but the crowd had started jumping to the beat of the song’s breakdown. All the girl had to do was jump once before the silver necklace she was wearing flew away from her skin, and the metal was illuminated in at least three different neon colors shining down on her.

The necklace charm was made up of the letters **XXII** , and now he knew for sure.

Letting out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, Shinjiro turned sharply and hurried over to the bar. This was crazy, but just staring at her was going to get him in trouble. He needed his job, and he needed to make sure he didn’t freak this girl out if she really was… well, whoever she was supposed to be.

The first thing he had to do was get some water, though. After spending hours in a hot kitchen, this was the kind of shock his system really didn’t need right now. The bartender, another nice enough guy he was familiar with, promptly took his order after a quick argument about mixing up something stronger as a Happy Hour treat.

When the ice water finally arrived in front of him, there were two lemon wedges hanging off the edge of the condensation coated glass. Maybe as an attempt to meet him in the middle, somewhere between plain tap water and an honest to god cocktail. Either way, it was a welcome sight.

“Oh, ‘scuse me! Can I also get a water?” A petite body had slid into the gap next to Shinjiro, and the girl from the dancefloor was standing on her tip toes beside him. “Um, sir! Wait, no..!” She leaned forward, hand outstretched as she called out futilely toward the bartender’s back. Her timing was bad, and he was already at the other side of the bar speaking to another customer.

Though she was nearly a head shorter than him, he saw her painted lips purse in disappointment. Her cheeks and neck were flushed and damp with sweat, as though she’d been dancing all night while he was slaving away in the kitchen.

Just one wall and a few yards between them all night.

She fidgeted in place for a moment, and sense finally took hold of Shinjiro as she turned to push sideways through the crowd to hail down the elusive bartender.

“W-Wait. Uh… Miss,” he sputtered, reaching out to grab her shoulder but thinking better of it. The hovering hand moved back to his glass of water, gesturing toward it as he gave a somewhat stiff shrug. She had been watching when it was placed in front of him, so it was clear that he hadn’t even touched it yet. “You need it more than me.” 

It took the girl a few seconds before she realized what Shinjiro was offering, and she seemed to consider whether or not it was okay to just accept a drink from a stranger, alcoholic or not. Her skepticism made him strangely proud.

“You’re sure?” Even as the query floated between them, she shifted closer to the bar and stretched her slender fingers out toward the glass. He noticed at the same time that her nails were painted an immaculate shade of white and that her thirst was clearly outweighing her suspicion of him.

He nodded. “Yeah, go ahead. You’ll get yourself sick if you overdo it without staying hydrated.” Shinjiro glanced away as he spoke, running a hand through the front of his hair before realizing that he was still wearing it in a stupid little ponytail. He tried to casually pull out the elastic and put it in his pocket, but she was already way too invested in drinking the water to notice his utter lack of subtlety.

She only paused to give a hurried but sincere thanks, and he soon found himself awkwardly drumming his fingers against the wood of the bar. It probably wasn’t safe for his heart to be beating so hard and so fast, but he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

She didn’t seem to recognize him, which made things tricky. Did he really look so different? Healthier and a little less like he doesn’t give a shit about his appearance, maybe, but they had been through so much together. He couldn’t stop himself from watching her profile, and it made his vision blur for the briefest moment.

He remembered watching her cry, his bloodstained hand cradled up against her cheek. He remembered holding her on the roof of the school, watching her eyes close and thinking she was about to take an innocent, well-deserved nap.

“You’re Minako, right?” The words came out before he had a chance to stop himself, but things came back into focus and he knew he had to say something. The girl turned toward him again, either not noticing or unbothered by the anxiety in his expression. She had taken one of the lemon wedges and started chewing on the flesh.

“Ha!” She shot back, beaming up at him without any obvious cares in the world. Like she wasn’t supposed to be cold and dead in the ground somewhere instead of hot and alive at a shitty club in the city. “I knew you looked familiar! Sorry, do we go to school together, maybe? This happens to me all the time!”

Shinjiro wasn't convinced that he understood what was going on, even a little bit.

He remembered this girl so vividly that she had to be real, but how could she be when Minato Arisato had sacrificed himself to save everyone? These two people both flooded sections of his memory in large and small parts, and yet they never co-existed in a single one. That seemed to be the only clue the universe would allow him at the moment; just barely enough to take a wild guess.

It was her, but it wasn’t _all_ of her.

“We, uh, went to the same high school,” he offered, briefly pausing to chew the inside of his cheek while his meager deductive skills attempted to keep him clued in on other important facts. This many years later, she had to be going to college somewhere nearby. “Shinjiro Aragaki.”

Minako let out a surprised gasp, as if something very important just occurred to her as well. Could he jog her memory the way she’d done it to him? The way she simply clasped her hands together and unconsciously leaned closer to him made it hard to tell.

“Oh, wow! Aragaki-senpai! This so great! How long has it been, I wonder..?” She seemed to earnestly think about it for a moment, then give up in exchange for more excited chattering. “I haven’t seen you or Akihiko-senpai or Mitsuru-senpai or Yukari-chan or… well, everyone in such a long time! I’m so relieved that you look well...”

“Uh, yeah…” He never knew how to deal with all the well-wishing and sympathy, no matter who it came from. Right now, he was more concerned with keeping her talking. “I was an idiot kid and had it coming to me, I guess.” He paused, one hand retreating to the pocket of his loose jeans. “But I’m fine now. No use cryin’ over it anymore, right?”

He was very careful to gauge her reaction this time, and the various colored lights splashing across her face couldn’t hide the stiffness in it. Minako looked like she was going to continue in the same upbeat tone, but the words didn’t quite make it out of her mouth. Her head dipped down slightly before rising again, and she wasn't able to fully meet his gaze.

“...Do you want to go get some coffee?” She eventually managed, setting aside her empty glass of water and chewed up lemon wedges. “I think we have a lot to talk about.”


	2. Chapter 2

_He constantly scolded himself for looking at her the way he did._

_His throat closed up when shadows lunged at her with their sickly-looking talons, or when columns of flame melted the soles of her school loafers and singed the hem of her skirt. Shinjiro imagined that she was small and frail; something that needed to be wrapped in tissue paper and kept safely inside a box somewhere out of reach._

_He was wrong._

The cafe on the other side of Paulownia Mall was miraculously still open, and it wasn't long before they were each gripping a slightly-too-hot paper cup in their respective hands. Shinjiro found some amount of humor in the fact that she took her coffee the same way. If it was mostly milk and sugar, he seemed to remember once insisting that it wasn’t really coffee anymore. A brief sideways glance from Minako dared him to say anything this time around, so he restrained himself.

Jokes could wait for later. Simply saying that they had 'a lot to talk about' could have been a joke in itself.

“I’m not even sure where to start…” Minako mused aloud, eyes scanning the ceiling as they strolled toward the large fountain placed in the center of the wide tile floor. The ceiling must not have had any answers for her, however, because she began apprehensively snapping the plastic lid of her coffee with a manicured nail. “It’s like it would be impossible to sum it all up in one try. Do you know what I mean?”

“‘Course I do,” he assured her. If it was as simple as saying ‘Why aren’t you dead?’, he would have done that already. “Let’s, uh… try something out. I got more things to say than I could get out in one night, so we’ll take it easy for now.”

Her wandering eyes found his face again, holding a familiar, inherent curiosity that practically asked the follow up question for her.

“How do we do that?” She asked anyway, her casual gait slowing to a complete stop as they moved toward the rear of the mall. He took a few additional steps before stopping himself, turning and seeing her fully normal lighting for the first time.

It was Minako, alright, but she looked noticeably more mature in the way she dressed and carried herself. It would be wrong to imply that she ever looked particularly adolescent, though. He remembered thinking, in her last moments, that she appeared extraordinarily wise beyond her years.

Her hair was longer, but still pulled up in a manner that kept it out of her way. Her ponytail had a single, wide curve to it that he assumed was probably a very stylish look right now. She was wearing a blousy white shirt that tucked into a pair of high waisted black shorts, showing just enough skin that he was able to take a look at her necklace again.

The **XXII** was made of slightly tarnished silver, appearing to be a keepsake rather than a meticulously selected fashion accessory. He didn’t know what it meant, but he was glad it caught his eye when it did.

“We start with easy questions,” Shinjiro continued, suddenly and inexplicably self-conscious about his body language. His hands felt empty for some reason, and the space between them reinforced the idea that they were strangers. “Gimme your name, age, and tell me what you’ve been up to lately.”

He should have expected the small laugh that she only barely managed to politely stifle, but it made his stomach do a flip regardless.

“Okay, okay. My name’s Minako Arisato and I’m turning 21 soon. I graduated from Gekkokan High and I go to college nearby, even though my parents complain that I should have tried to get into a better school.” Her voice wavered slightly as another laugh threatened to interrupt her answer, so she allowed herself to double over and giggle for a moment. “Ahaha, this feels like an interview, Aragaki-senpai. Please tell me that was enough!”

He gave a small nod, already noticing that his theory about Minako not being entirely the same seemed to have weight. He knew for a fact that her parents died when she was young because SEES was practically an exclusive club for orphaned assholes, with very few exceptions. But since she didn’t have a reason to lie, he took it as the truth in this case.

“Yeah, that’s a good start,” he began slowly, taking a long drink of coffee as he considered how to continue. His coat was slung over his shoulder now, though they were both still way underdressed compared to the other mall patrons. It was winter, after all. “...You know my name already. I’m 22 and I work at Escapade. We never actually went to the same high school because I stopped going before you started. I thought of going back, but I got hurt and didn’t manage to make it happen.”

Shinjiro didn’t like that she was frowning at him, but it was perfectly fair to put his side of the story out in the open as well. Regardless, watching her usually soft features turn stoic and pensive was a memory worth preserving for later. Any memories concerning him weren’t particularly happy ones for most people, and he wasn’t about to let himself forget that.

“Your watch broke… right?” Minako seemed unsure of herself, speaking more toward her coffee than him. He’d never seen someone get this somber over the state of a watch, but he could hear his heart beating in his eardrums as she continued. “I think it's sad, somehow. I know that’s silly, but it makes me wish that I tried a little harder. Maybe I thought I fixed something for good, when I was really only halfway done.”

He cleared his throat and let the silence linger, shuffling one foot against the scuffed tile floor.

Would someone really want to remember things that made them sad? It shouldn’t have been Minako’s job to fix someone that was missing pieces to begin with, but they were both stubborn. He hated that about himself and loved it about her.

“It was just a watch,” he managed after a moment, turning to guide them toward the pair of heavy metal doors at the back of the mall. This was a strange conversation to be having around high school kids headed to karaoke. The alley behind the mall wasn't exactly cozy, but at least it would be private.

“Let’s get some air.”

_Every member of SEES stood in a cluster outside of a hospital door, the morose gray walls seeming to slowly close in on them as time passed. The only thing keeping them from tears now was an overwhelming sense of numbness._

_“How can something like this even happen?”_

_Yukari had been holding her face in her hands, finally breaking the quiet with what everyone thought was a rhetorical question. She looked up, scanning the faces of her friends with mascara smudged eyes that begged for an answer._

_“How can she just... suddenly be dead? She was sixteen..!”_  

On a normal day, Shinjiro might have objected to standing around outside in the cold. It felt good, sure, but this was how people their age got sick. He thought about throwing his coat on, but that didn’t seem fair considering whatever jacket Minako brought with her must have been back in the club.

She still hadn’t said anything after they moved into the alley, instead opting to meander over to the opposite wall and gently press her fingertips against the dirty bricks. This behavior didn’t particularly bother him. Certain locations just seemed to draw out her contemplative side.

“Let me know if you get cold, alright?” The silence wasn’t so awful, but there were only so many hours in a day. It was probably nearly midnight at this point, and they weren’t even close to being finished.

She merely offered up a small noise to acknowledge that she’d heard him at first, though a knowing smile slowly spread across her lips. It seemed she was done with contemplating for the time being.

“I almost forgot how much you worry about people.” Minako turned back to him, clearly intending to skip playing coy and get straight to the teasing. “First you tell me to stay hydrated, now this? Some things don’t change, Aragaki-senpai.”

He scoffed. “No, they really don’t. For example, I'm pretty sure that I told you to cut the ‘senpai’ shit out a long time ago.” With a quick roll of his eyes, Shinjiro downed the rest of his coffee. The empty cup got tossed into a nearby garbage can. “You’re not in school anymore, so quit it. Shinji’s fine.”

Minako tried to laugh, but her welcoming gaze shifted uncomfortably off to the side again. Her free hand hovered in front of her, hastily waving as if she intended to brush aside the comment before it even reached her.

“Isn’t that a little… weird? I think I’d be too embarrassed.” If she noticed that his brow had distinctly furrowed at that comment, she didn’t act like it. “Maybe if we were a little closer back then, but… I mean, I appreciate that you’d let me call you that! I guess it’s too familiar, that’s all.”

Shinjiro swallowed, but his throat was noticeably dryer than it had been a moment ago. He found himself wishing very badly that he could retreat to the bar for a new glass of water.

“Hang on,” he began, taking care to keep any noticeable alarm out of his measured response. He took a tentative step forward, fists balled anxiously at his sides.

“What _do_ you remember about us?” 

_Memento Mori. Remember you are mortal. Remember you will die._

For a split second, he thought that he might have asked a question the universe didn’t want him to. Minako simply frowned and tilted her head, not seeming to notice the instantaneous shift in the atmosphere. A clock on the face of a nearby building chimed loudly, and the biting winter air turned uncomfortably humid.

The surfaces around them faded to an insipid shade of green, streaks of a ghastly red liquid crept into the seams between the pavement and down the walls surrounding them. As the clock chimed for the 12th time, Shinjiro gazed, wide-eyed, at the sky in disbelief.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been so surprised. Even as every inch of his exposed skin prickled with cold sweat, he realized that this was only the second strangest thing that happened tonight. The Dark Hour stopped showing up once Nyx wasn’t around to pull whatever maudlin bullshit she had been up to in the first place, but it was kind of fitting that it would reappear the same night Minako did.

A few labored breaths broke the eerie quiet that encompassed the city, and Shinjiro spun around to see yet another something he didn’t quite expect.

Minako's knees shook gently for a moment, weight shifting so that her back was pressed against the wall behind her. Both hands hovered in front of her, curled and trembling as if they wanted desperately to stretch out further and touch something solid. Her chest heaved with each short gasp, as if the weight of the world was once again resting on her willowy shoulders.

“Hey.” He moved toward her and laid a hand firmly on her upper arm, alarmed by her sudden, perplexing collapse inward. He stepped into the shallow puddle of coffee in front of her, which meant that she must have dropped her cup while the clock was still chiming. “ _Hey_. Look at me, Minako. It’s fine. This is… Uh, it’s…”

Not very easy to explain, in fact. He searched her face for any clue on what to say to make this better, and their eye contact became intensely magnetic. For some strange reason, she looked younger now. Wetness prickled the corner of her eyes, which were round with distress. One of her hands gripped at the crook of his elbow, squeezing hard.

“I-I remember…” she gasped, trying make the protesting muscles in her legs cooperate so that she could stand straight again. “Why didn’t I realize…? Shinji, it’s really you…”

It was scary to watch her struggle like that. Shinjiro felt every little bit of air leave his lungs at once, and a hollow, pained laugh scraped his throat on the way out. It was all he could do to throw his other arm out to pull her tightly to his chest.

He’d only managed to hold her like this once before.

“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered hoarsely, indulgently burying his face in her hair. She was just as warm as he remembered, and maybe a little bit taller. He hadn't noticed that part until now. “You really had to make me worry, though, huh? Things can never be simple when it comes to you.”

She laughed into his shirt, and it made him squeeze her tighter.

“Don’t be mean.” Her reply came through a small sob, her hands slipping up against his chest so that she could gently push them back apart. As much as Shinjiro didn’t want to let go, he also wanted to keep looking at her. “I don’t know how I got here, but it probably wasn’t easy. Can’t you just be happy to see me?”

He answered by quickly leaning down, pressing his dry lips firmly to her soft ones. His eyes fell shut while his hands moved upward to tenderly cup her face.

It didn’t last as long as he wanted it to. As he pulled away he noticed that she tasted like that lemon wedge she was chewing not 30 minutes ago.

"I don't do 'happy' too well. You know that." There were too many unanswered questions for them to be at 'happy' already, but this would be close enough for a little while. "Guess it's my turn to say we've got a whole hell of a lot to talk about, huh?"

Minako had small fistfuls of his shirt in her hands, and she was beaming unabashedly up at him.

He never noticed how beautiful the Dark Hour really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely no promises that I can always do a weekly update, but I was eager to show where the story was going and hopefully get a few more folks interested.
> 
> In other news, have you watched the P3P opening recently? I said on Twitter that it basically takes the concept of alternate realities, shoves it in your mouth, and asks how it tastes. I'm shocked that I didn't start playing with this idea in fics back in the day, but also relieved since I'm much better at writing now.
> 
> Anyway, the next two chapters will focus on getting us into a different locations and bringing in more characters to try and explain what's going on. Hope you like cryptic intrigue!


	3. Chapter 3

_At first he thought she was brave, but stupid._

_The second years had just learned they were ‘special’, so maybe they were feeling invincible for a while there. He and Akihiko, even Mitsuru, thought they might be real superheroes for a time too._

_It didn’t take long for the cracks in their facade to break and ruin everything._

The two of them moved to the opposite wall of the alley, sitting side-by-side. A scenic view of the bloodstained bricks and a small lake of cream-and-sugar coffee laid a few feet away, though it couldn’t do much to spoil the mood for Shinjiro. The Dark Hour guaranteed them privacy, at the very least. It wasn’t so bad, really.

“So your memories are back? Completely?” It was tough not to be a little skeptical. He’d spent the better part of an hour trying not to have a heart attack or scare her off, after all. “I don’t have to pick and choose my words to avoid looking like a crazy asshole anymore, right?”

“Hmm… I think so.” Minako gently chewed on her bottom lip as she thought, as if really checking to make sure things in her head were in proper order. He appreciated the thoroughness. “I remember everything between high school and now. It’s… weird, though.”

“‘Everything’ everything? You’re sure?”

“Uh-huh. That’s what makes it so weird. A lot of it overlaps with stuff that should have happened, or never happened at all.” She opened both hands while she spoke, fingers splayed as she looked over each palm with careful scrutiny. They didn’t have cuts or bruises like they used to. “My parents are supposed to be dead. So I am I.”

“But you’re here. You all came back somehow.”

Her fingers flexed, closing tightly and then opening again. As they slowly laced together and moved to rest against her bent knees, a sad smile pulled at her lips. The soft shade of pink painting them had smudged a little bit earlier, thanks to him.

“Not all of us. Poor Junpei…” She turned her thoughts inward, and it took Shinjiro a few seconds to realize how the Iori kid factored into any of this.

He heard a little bit from Akihiko about other casualties of that shit with Nyx, and apparently Junpei got caught in the middle in a way the others hadn’t. He lost that girl from Strega and another boy from their class, and it hit him pretty hard. Shinjiro felt himself fall into the memory of Graduation Day for a moment, and was hit with a brutal twinge of empathy.

“That’s… not your fault.” He wondered if this was the most genuinely hypocritical sentence to leave his mouth in years, but pushed through it. His obsession with atonement or balancing metaphysical scales wasn’t up for debate right now. “You’re not a god, or the grim reaper, or whatever. He would understand that you didn’t personally pick and choose what to change. Sometimes things just… happen.”

Minako had become absorbed in picking at a small loose thread hanging from the hem of her shorts, but he knew she was listening. It would take some time for her to process all of this new/old information. He was willing to figure it out with her.

“Your friend makes an excellent point.”

Shinjiro nearly jumped out of his skin as a cool, amused voice cut through the clammy air. He twisted his entire body as two figures appears on their left, attempting to shield Minako from whatever supernatural bullshit the Dark Hour was pulling on them now.

A young man and woman stood several feet from them, dressed in peculiar blue uniforms that Shinjiro had never seen in his life. They were the only shapes in the alley that weren’t tinted by the green moonlight, from their pale blonde hair to their sharp yellow eyes.

“Oh, dear.” This time the man chimed in, though the pair didn’t look at each other as he spoke. This only made them seem more unsettling than actual human-like behavior might have. “I believe our timing may be less than ideal. That is regrettable, but nonetheless irreparable.”

He didn’t know who these weirdos were, but he had every intention of ushering them out of the area as soon as possible. Or, that _should have_ been the plan. Minako scrambled to her feet somewhere behind him, heading straight toward the ghostly pair for reasons completely beyond him.

“Wh-..! Hey!” He hurried to his feet as well, barely managing to grab her shoulder before she advanced too far. She shrugged him off, slipping easily out of his grip and shooting a quick look of alarm back at him.

“I know them!” Minako was unstoppable when something important came up, and this was hardly the first time he found himself feeling baffled by her single-mindedness. He didn’t seem to have a choice in the matter. “I-It’s hard to explain, just come here!”

He hung back uncertainly as she marched right up to pair of blondes, who had both waited patiently for her to approach them. They wore somewhat eerie smiles and stood with impeccable posture that didn’t fit their grim surroundings in the slightest.

He couldn’t begin to fathom where she had met such eccentric-looking people.

“I’m so happy that you look well.” The man continued to push the conversation forward as Minako came closer, immediately bending to take her hand and grasp it between his own gloved ones. “We knew you would be an extraordinary guest, but you have truly exceeded our every expectation.”

Shinjiro didn’t need an explanation to be certain that he already hated this. Despite wanting very badly to keep away from the strangers, he let out a conflicted huff and ran a hand through his hair before moving to join the group. The woman watched him over Minako’s shoulder, seeming pleased with his reluctant approach.

“We sincerely apologize for interrupting your reunion, but my brother and I were eager to join in the quite literal post-mortem festivities.” She turned to the man, politely clasping both hands in front of her. She looked as if she were trying to set an example for a small child rather than a grown man. “Theo, you’re making Master Shinjiro uncomfortable with your brazen familiarity. You should behave like a professional, no matter how radiantly beautiful Master Minako has grown in the years since we’ve seen her last.”

Oh, he _really_ hated this. He faked a cough to hide how uncomfortable all of this nonsense was making him, but he knew full well that his face was getting red. The man -- Theo, apparently -- pursed his lips in obvious disappointment and withdrew both hands back to his sides. Minako shot Shinjiro a quick glance that assured him this was completely normal. He cleared his throat.

“Why d’you know my name? If you always dress this way, I think I’d remember meeting you.”

“Oh, how dreadful. Our rude behavior continues to cause problems, even when we don’t mean any harm.” The woman spoke as though she were sighing dramatically and wasn’t particularly sorry at all. “My name is Elizabeth, and this is my brother Theodore. We used to be responsible for assisting Master Minako in matters concerning the fulfillment of her contract. We are residents of the Velvet Room.”

As if sensing his confusion, Minako shook her head and attempted to translate.

“You remember how I was able to change my Persona when we fought, right? They helped me organize everything in my head that I needed to manifest stronger ones.” She rushed out the explanation, and he could tell by the way she struggled that there probably wasn’t a perfectly clear way to describe it anyway. He was getting used to this feeling.

“They’re…”

She trailed off, turning back toward the bothersome siblings and finding it difficult to complete the thought.

“We are merely two out of many devoted friends,” Theo added helpfully. “Perhaps it shouldn’t be any wonder at all that you returned. When many people care so dearly for you, who’s to say love can’t achieve the impossible?”

“Don’t be foolish, Theo.” Elizabeth’s smile only seemed to grow despite her harsh dismissal of her brother’s idyllic musings. Her large, bright eyes couldn’t seem to look away from the other girl. “Master Minako is alive because she’s an exceptional person. She may be beloved by many, but we are not the special ones.”

Minako stuttered sheepishly for a moment, but willed herself to push past the praise they were heaving onto her. Shinjiro might have agreed with them, but they were still laying it on a little thick.

“Do you know why I’m alive?” It was a sentence he was sure not many people ever found themselves uttering. She swallowed nervously, but continued to pursue the difficult question. “It wasn’t you, right? I didn’t think anyone in the Velvet Room can change history.”

“You thought correctly. Reality is much too fragile for us to simply shape it to our liking, even if our liking involves you being very much alive.” Theo seemed to be at a loss, crossing his arms as he searched for an answer. “And we are also not permitted to reunite with previous guests solely for our own enjoyment. We are here because you are here. I’m afraid it’s all fairly cyclical when one tries to explain it.”

“Wait. Okay, listen.” Shinjiro buried his face in both hands, giving his temples a quick, vigorous massage. He needed to stop being so sure that this night couldn’t get any more bizarre. It seemed to relish in proving him wrong again and again. “Can you get to the point? I ain't interested in playing guessing games all night.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Elizabeth asked, as if he were some kind of fool for not realizing what the siblings were getting at. She lifted her face toward the sky, gesturing in the general direction of the moon with one hand held aloft. “The Dark Hour is a harbinger of misfortune. We have come to see if Master Minako would like to form a new contract and allow us to continue serving her in light of the disasters that are sure to come.”

The massive moon drifted lazily across the night sky, as if coasting by on the tense silence. When Shinjiro looked down, Elizabeth’s hand was instead extended toward Minako. It took a moment before he realized that she was holding an evoker.

“Get rid of that thing,” he took a small step forward, as if blocking it from view might make it disappear entirely. “We’ve gotta talk about this first. You’re not gonna force her to choose anything right now. Not after all the bullshit that’s happened tonight.”

Elizabeth bent slightly sideways to peer behind him, still distinctly addressing only Minako.

“As you might have guessed, time is of the essence. Would you please ask your lovely companion not to crowd me, Master Minako? I could move him myself, of course, but I’d like it very much if we became friends.” She looked up at Shinjiro, clearly enjoying herself. “Friends do not fight. Or crowd each other, for that matter.”

God, this lady was _insanely_ determined to strong arm him. Shinjiro let out an exasperated scoff, turning and taking a few steps away from the group. He didn’t need to be told to play nice, and this cryptic bullshit was starting to piss him off.

“How do I form a new contract?”

Shinjiro had been spinning back and forth so many times tonight, he was going to end up with whiplash. A steely look of determination had taken over Minako’s entire face, and he realized once again that he was wrong to be surprised. These blonde assholes knew they could ask something so unreasonable because they knew what the answer was going to be.

“Minako, come on.” His impulse was to pick her up and start walking far away from there, but he was also seriously at odds with himself. It was one thing to respect someone’s ability to make choices for herself, and this might be another entirely. “You’ve already done more than anyone else would have been able to. You died to save everyone.”

The brunette shook her head, then offered him nothing but a sympathetic smile.

“I did. I don’t regret any of it.” She closed her eyes for a minute, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t help but wonder if she was just feeling her body. Her heartbeat, her muscles, every inch of skin that now belonged to her again. “I’m not afraid to keep fighting.”

There was no changing her mind. Minako turned back to Elizabeth, taking the evoker without even the slightest hesitation and turning it over in her hands.

“...A verbal contract will be sufficient this time around,” Theo continued. Neither of the siblings seemed to care about Shinjiro’s opinion on the matter either, and he was starting to feel infuriatingly outnumbered. “State your intent and you will once again be permitted to utilize our services.”

She let out a shaky sigh, some of the night’s tension finally seeming to creep into her posture and make her shoulders tremble. Shinjiro nearly moved closer to ask if she was going to be alright, but she confidently lifted her head not a moment later. The doubt had passed that quickly.

He’d have to trust her and be okay with that.

“I’ll find out why the Dark Hour returned and I’ll save everyone,” she vowed, letting the hand tightly gripping her evoker fall to her side. Shinjiro could see her pointer finger brushing up against the trigger, as if it were eager to pull it to see what would happen next. She threw only the briefest sideways glance toward him, then continued.

“I choose this path of my own free will.”

_Those three kids once marched fearlessly into the seedy back alleys of Tatsumi Port Island with their new leader in tow._

_Even as he scolded the trio for being reckless and starting fights, her expression showed no sign of regret or apology. From the word go, she was the kind of person that made a habit of throwing herself under the bus for other people. He hoped it was a habit she would eventually grow out of._

_Unlike him, she didn’t have anything to make up for._

Akihiko called him eight times that night and left three messages, each laced with more frustrated venom than the last. That was how Shinjiro knew none of it was a fluke. Their old leader was really back among the living, and the fact that every other member of SEES didn’t happen to find her dancing at Escapade last night meant they were busy shitting their pants over the Dark Hour.

Mitsuru and Yukari wanted everyone to meet up immediately to discuss it, because of course they did. Mitsuru liked to strategize before she went all ‘divide and conquer’, and Aki insisted that this impulse had rubbed off on Yukari big time. Shinjiro joked that he probably wouldn’t be invited to the wedding. Akihiko didn’t laugh.

But he still couldn't figure out how to bring Minako into the picture when everyone’s memories were still faulty. One or two members of SEES has apparently expressed anger over the current state of things because it made Minato’s sacrifice seem worthless. He didn’t know how to assure them that another Arisato had also paid the price, and proved the same night that she was more than willing to do it again if need be.

They’d taken care to exchange numbers before Shinjiro reluctantly let Minako loose to rejoin her friends after the Dark Hour had ended. As much as he wanted to see her again as soon as possible, it was just like her high school schedule. She still had to go to class and keep up appearances despite a brand new burden crawling on her back. Her parents would worry. Her professors would worry. Don’t even get him started on her massive gaggle of friends.

Less than one full ‘actual’ hour after leaving the club, one of her friends seemed on the verge of tears before finally realizing that Minako had returned. She was as well-loved as ever, but Minako delicately assured him that the girl -- Rio, she’d called her -- was a natural born worrywart. The girls held hands as they left the mall together, and Shinjiro began to feel certain that he was in the same boat as quite a few other people on Tatsumi Port Island.

They all managed to get drawn in by a magnetic girl that was dangerously easy to fall in love with.

He couldn't blame any of them. Not Rio, who seemed like a perfectly normal college girl. Not Elizabeth and Theodore, who weren't even human.

Of course, he had his own problems. Akihiko didn’t bother asking if he actually _wanted_ to be involved with this SEES revival. Under normal circumstances he would have stayed as far away as possible, but this was far from normal. Still, it pissed him off to no end that Aki would just assume like that. Training to become a cop obviously didn’t do anything to help his overblown sense of justice.

He agreed on a date to meet later that week, and Shinjiro relayed the information to Minako. It was going to be tough to explain her existence, but the fact that they didn’t have solid evidence to begin with took some of the pressure off. All they really had to do was say she was a Persona-user, and the rest could unfold from there.

No one said this was going to be easy, she had told him. Yeah, right. Shinjiro had to dig up a box of his old high school stuff to find his evoker, and there were still a few stray bottles of suppressors laid on top of his red SEES armband. Since when had anything ever been easy for them? Shinjiro wished, like many times prior, that he could learn to be a little more optimistic. His odds probably weren't great, but that didn’t stop him from wishing it anyway.

First things first, though. Akihiko needed to meet Minako. He'd know what to do.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, the actual plot floats to the surface.
> 
> Remember how I was talking about the P3P opening video and alternate timelines? One of my favorite shots is the one of Elizabeth and Theo on opposite sides of the Velvet Room. 
> 
> There's a universe where FemC can imagine her companion in the Velvet Room as a woman, and one where she can imagine them as a man. So in this fic, we get both!
> 
> I've never written Elizabeth or Theo before, and they were a ton of fun to handle. I had so much more dialog for them, but this chapter is already longer than the previous ones and I didn't want to get too lost on the way to explaining where things are headed. 
> 
> (And, if you were wondering, Yukari and Mitsuru are definitely dating in this fic.)


	4. Chapter 4

_“An_ **_alias_ ** _?”_

_Minako said the word as if it tasted bad, prompting Shinjiro to roll his eyes. It was a small miracle he’d even thought ahead to this point, in his opinion. She didn’t have to make a fuss whenever he drew attention to their predicament instead of ignoring it flat-out._

_“Unless you’d rather be Minato’s long lost twin sister, I don’t think a fake name would hurt,” he argued, feeling pretty comfortable in his justification. “You guys look nothing alike, anyway. Just pick something, it’ll save us a big headache later.”_

_He knew he won because she made a face at him instead of replying. It was nice to have a say in things again._

Not that anything was really normal anymore, but the next few days were pretty uneventful. Shinjiro was able to more or less get on with his life, the daily flow only ever being interrupted by his constantly vibrating phone. Texting was apparently Minako’s preferred form of communication now, and it was taking some getting used to on his part. She typed so damn fast sometimes that he couldn’t keep up. He figured her brain probably went a mile a minute and that was why she always had so much to say.

They met up again before the next week ended, working on a game plan and not doing much else with their time together. Shinjiro never thought he would miss hanging out at the dorm, but at least they could occasionally get away from other people there. There was no time to discuss what their relationship was shaping up to be, and he understood why. Hell, it made _sense_ to focus on everything else that had come up instead.

But, still. The timing being bad didn’t keep him from wondering. Often.

Minako was eager to get back into the fray, of course. She admitted to patrolling her college dormitory during the Dark Hour every day that week, and didn’t falter in the slightest when he scolded her for it. If shadows attacked any of her classmates, she’d argued, who else would be able to intervene?

He didn’t like admitting it, but she was right. Truth be told, he got into the habit of watching the kids at Escapade during the Dark Hour for the same reason. He was a born a hypocrite, and she knew that about him. He valued her safety over his own. He valued nearly everybody’s safety over his own, to be fair.

The two of them were relieved, at the very least, that nothing seemed to change much since last time.

Most of the shadows roaming around were puny, or bothersome at worst. Castor could make short work of any runts, and he was easier to handle without the suppressants clouding everything.

They made a point to dig up a calendar and keep track of the moon, figuring that maybe old habits die hard where monsters are concerned too. It didn’t hurt to be prepared for something big and bad to show its ugly mug somewhere around the city, and the full moon was fast approaching. He definitely wasn’t ready to be an optimist yet, but things were going smoothly for once. It was a good change of pace, and that’s all he was willing to say on the subject.

Something about finally meeting up with Aki made him feel a bit uneasy, though.

If their dozens of vaguely herculean goals troubled Minako at all, however, it was anyone’s guess. They spent most of their face-to-face time getting their story straight and going over what might be better omitted entirely.

For instance, he didn’t think explaining their meeting with those two blue assholes was worth the effort. Minako curtly reminded him that they were her friends. He gave a reluctant apology, but insisted that he was right.

They eventually agreed that the conversation with Elizabeth and Theo would be best kept between the two of them.

“Are we missing anything?” Minako’s eyes scanned the small notebook in front of her, double checking the notes she’d taken during the past few days while loitering around Paulownia Mall with him. Her thumb and forefinger absentmindedly tugged at her charm necklace, pulling the slim silver chain taut against the back of her neck. It was nice to see how warm and alive her skin looked. “The list of things I’m not supposed to know is pretty big…”

This had been one of the tasks that left Shinjiro feeling sort of useless. He spent so little time with SEES in any official capacity that he ended up learning a decent amount of new facts himself.

Most of it was bad news, but there was one particular part he disliked the most. There was a boy named Ryoji, another not-so-human asshole that Minako spent some time with. She couldn’t (or wouldn’t) offer many details, but he was supposedly the one that warned them about Nyx. He spent ten years siphoning off some of her humanity so that he could make believe he was a regular teenager for a while, and then piled the consequences onto Minako to deal with by herself.

Shinjiro wondered if this Ryoji had been listening when he and Minako spent their evenings together. He didn’t like thinking that someone else knew the things he told her or saw what happened between them the night she came to his room.

He didn’t like the sound of any of it, and there would only be more to look forward to in the coming days. At least that part of her was gone now.

“Don’t worry so much. There’s not gonna be a pop quiz.” He rolled his shoulder as he spoke, not quite used to the uncomfortable wooden benches they’d spent so many hours lounging on. “Aki’s too stupid to notice if you slip up, and if he does, I’ll just say it was something I told you.”

“You really think he won’t be suspicious?” She set her eyes on him carefully, the corner of her lips curling in a way that he recognized. This girl was about to pounce. “I’m not saying you’re _completely_ standoffish, but… Shinjiro Aragaki, confiding in someone like me? I can’t think of anything less believable than that!”

“That’s a low blow, coming from you.” He looked away, intent on busying himself with something on his phone. Too bad no one else ever texted him. “Do you wanna hear me call you an exception? Tough luck, I’m--... Shit, we’re late.”

Before she could accuse him of changing the subject, Shinjiro grabbed her arm and stood up to head out of the mall. He really hated doing this is public, but they _were_ late and it _was_ the perfect excuse to lace their fingers together. This seemed to quell her desire to tease him, or maybe she gave it a rest solely to prep for their first big test since she got her memories back.

Either way, he was happy to hold onto her until they made it all the way to Iwatodai Station.

The strip mall wasn’t too far away, though Akihiko was already waiting when they got there. If they were going to get food, Aki was always early. It was the best way to make plans and be certain he would show up. Shinjiro reluctantly shook Minako’s hand off of his own, using a quick sideways glance as an apology. They already had enough to deal with today. Getting caught holding hands would add about five hundred more questions that didn’t need answering.

“Quit staring at the restaurant, Aki,” he called out, tucking both hands into his coat pockets. It was defensive body language. He was feeling defensive, so it fit. “The food’s not gonna walk out if you blink, I swear.”

Akihiko turned toward the voice, frowning as though he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. Like Minako, he mostly looked the same as he did in high school. A little bulkier thanks to his new fitness routine, and only slightly less lanky. He still wore a fussy-looking white coat that didn’t quite fit the person wrapped inside of it, in his opinion.

“I wasn’t worried the food would leave,” he snapped back, maybe a little too quickly. Shinjiro privately decided that he was lying. “I was trying to remember if we did beef bowls last time or not, since…”

His rationalization was cut short, eyes moving slowly from his friend to the girl standing next to him. There were several seconds of silence, and Minako fidgeted under the scrutiny. While she rubbed her gloved hands together for warmth, Akihiko seemed to find his voice again.

“Uh. Are you… lost, miss?”

Their reactions instantly launched them in opposite directions. Shinjiro reflexively arched his back, lifting his face to the sky and taking hold of his forehead with one hand in frustration. Minako bent forward slightly, desperately attempting to stifle her giggling with both hands.

“Does she look like a kid to you?” Shinjiro spoke through grit teeth, absolutely floored by how inelegantly this introduction had already become. “She’s a persona-user, Aki. I wanted you to meet her.”

“R-Really? You could have told me on the phone!” His face quickly turned an embarrassed shade of pink, and Shinjiro couldn’t blame him. Minako was still fighting off a fit of laughter. He had no doubt that she relished being called ‘miss’ by her former classmate. “Ugh, sorry. I’m Akihiko Sanada. Nice to meet you.”

Lip quivering, she wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye. Leave it to Aki to spectacularly break the ice without meaning to.

“Sorry for showing up out of the blue,” she offered, clearly doing her best to take some blame for the confusion. “It’s… nice to meet you too. I’m Minako Shiomi.”

There was only the smallest hint of discomfort in her introduction, and Shinjiro considered that in itself to be a success. Despite her occasional complaints, he and Minako Shiomi might be able to pull this off.

_The notebook page in front of her was covered in loopy scribbles, all forming small variations on Minako’s name that were either furiously crossed out or, at best, accompanied by a hopeful question mark. She wouldn’t let him read it yet._

_“Our names are nearly identical, but we’re not alike at all?” He noticed that she was looking disdainfully in his direction now, lips distinctly pursed from a long stretch of brainstorming. He didn’t take it personally. “I didn’t even know about this boy until now. Maybe I_ **_am_ ** _his long lost twin.”_

_“Trust me, you’re not,” Shinjiro replied flatly. He reached out to slide the notebook over to his side of the table while Minako was wrestling with this conundrum, which proved to be a smart move. She tried to snatch it away from him, but he was too quick._

_“And you’re taking too long, so I’m picking.”_

There was a short argument regarding whether they really _did_ got to Hagakure last or not, but the trio eventually found themselves crowded around a table in the steamy ramen shop. Minako and Akihiko gleefully chatted about the food, while Shinjiro did his best to ignore the familiar ache sinking into his chest like a knife. His vision blurred, and another old memory stubbornly burned itself into his eyes.

This kept happening when he was with her.

The last time the three of them were here together, Akihiko managed to convince him to rejoin SEES by dangling Ken Amada’s name in front of him. The two of them did most of the talking, but Minako didn’t appear to wonder why she was being given a window into that negotiation. She was the leader. He felt like that gave him license to stupidly ask what her reason for fighting was.

He didn’t even remember what she said. That was how little he actually cared at the time, he supposed.

“--each other during the Dark Hour. Right, Shinji?”

He looked up to see two expectant faces staring right back at him, and cleared his throat. Spacing out was starting to be another bad habit of his.

“He said it was lucky you found me at Escapade that first night.” Minako wore a somewhat forced smile, as if she didn’t particularly enjoy having to lie. She wasn’t allowed to enjoy a proper reunion with her old teammate, and it couldn’t have been easy to push through that. “I’m glad you guys have dealt with that kind of stuff before. It makes me feel like I can actually make a difference if I fight with you.”

“Speaking of which…” Shinjiro sat up in his chair, taking stock of Akihiko for a moment. If he recognized Minako, he certainly wasn’t showing any sign of it. He was ready to get to the point. “If we’re doing this SEES thing again, we need a new leader.”

The other man waited, as if expecting to hear the nominee by name. When nothing more specific came, Akihiko eventually drew his own conclusions. He opened his mouth to argue, then quickly shut it again. He frowned, clearly thinking very hard.

“You’re not wrong, but… that’s a lot of baggage, Shinji,” he finally replied, picking and choosing every word with care. He gestured with both hands as he continued, as if they would help get across the difficult point. “To just volunteer this girl after what we all… I mean, do you even want that, Minako?”

Unsurprisingly, she nodded. That same air of perseverance she wore so well sucked the oxygen out of the room and breathed new life into it. With her, it was that effortless.

“I was in high school when this first happened, and I did my best to protect people even though I didn’t know why I could fight the way I did.” She looked down at her hands, smiling fondly as she spoke. He figured she had plenty of good memories of her time with SEES, too. Hopefully enough to outweigh the bad ones by a large margin. “We have the power to save the world, so that’s what I want to do. I hope you’ll let me try.”

Akihiko gaped, and Shinjiro figured those words were melding beautifully with his friend’s own unadulterated sense of justice. It would be hard to say no when she laid her feelings out so plainly for them to see.

He looked back to Shinji. There was a spark of excitement in his grey eyes that made him look like a high schooler again.

“You really think she’s up to it? We’ll need to check with Mitsuru, obviously, but...”

He nodded, opting to try out some of that unyielding confidence Minako always carried with her.

“‘Course I think so. That’s why I brought her here.”

Enthusiastic approval was written all over Akihiko’s face. He immediately began asking about her fighting style, receiving an in-depth crash course on the merits of a naginata by the time their food came. It felt like high school, and Shinjiro didn’t hate it.

A cheerful jingle broke through their hushed chatter a while later. Minako’s spine went rigid for a moment, which he recognized as the sign that she was getting an unexpected phone call. Sure enough, one glance at her phone and a hurried apology sent her running outside to get some privacy. If it wasn’t her friends, it was her parents. He was getting used to competing for her attention.

“Good thing phones don’t work during the Dark Hour, huh?”

When Shinjiro turned back, Akihiko looked uncomfortably tense. It was immediately obvious that he’d been holding in this anxiety for the majority of their meeting. It was rare, but always very strange to see this side of him.

“Shinji,” he began nervously, eyes occasionally darting over to the glass door Minako had stepped through. He spoke softly and evenly, though he seemed determined to say his piece quickly. “This is going to sound crazy, but… do you believe in reincarnation?”

Having already done this song and dance once before, he allowed himself to let out a shallow sigh. It wasn’t as easy as spilling the truth all at once. He wanted Aki fully on board, and to see how tough it would really be to jog everyone’s memories. If there was an foolproof way to do this, he didn’t know it yet.

“Not exactly,” he countered, giving his best nonchalant shrug in the process. “I didn’t think _you_ did, either. What’s on your mind?”

Akihiko sat back in his chair, taking a slow breath as his calloused fingertips tapped against the table. He bit his lip, and Shinjiro waited. He didn’t have to wait long.

“It’s just… don’t you think she looks like Miki?” He frowned, as if that wasn’t entirely satisfactory. Despite that, he continued. “That’s gotta be it, right? I was thinking... if Miki grew up, is this what she’d be like?”

Shinjiro felt a bitter chill spread from his chest into his fingertips. Of all the old emotions this stupid gambit could have possibly unearthed, he didn’t expect to feel so fucking guilty. Not this soon, at least. He wished he could tell the truth and help his friend sort out the jumble of bad feelings tangled up in his head, but it was never going to be that easy.

“She’s a good kid, but I don’t think she’s much like your sister.”

And that was true. Miki was gone, so there was no telling what she would be like at their age. Akihiko didn’t dwell on it as much as he used to, but Shinjiro could never imagine a world where the three of them were still together. That cynicism was one of the biggest differences between the two friends.

Akihiko didn’t seem convinced.

“You’re sure?” He leaned over in his chair, taking another long look at Minako through the door. If he kept frowning, he was going to hurt himself. “I definitely know her from somewhere, Shinji. Why else would I know a girl like that..?”

Shinjiro looked over his shoulder and saw what Akihiko was seeing. Minako leaned against the railing outside the door, tapping the heel of her shoe against the icy ground. Whoever she was talking to had secured her full attention, and her bright expression animated as she chattered back and laughed at whatever normal-life gossip was being relayed to her.

As he looked on, there was one person that Shinjiro knew for certain she didn’t remind him of.

“Who knows,” he finally offered, startled to find himself fighting a smirk that was forcing its way onto his lips. “Maybe she reminds you of that Arisato kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't it weird when games give you control of a character that literally becomes the center of the universe, especially when they're a pretty normal person otherwise?
> 
> I've been thinking a lot about that lately, especially playing the Mass Effect series and reviewing P3 for this fic. In Mass Effect 3, a character talks about 'the cult of Shepard', and I think that's great. Your protagonist gets TOO good at charming everyone around them. They have friends and followers that would die for them, and are the most important person in the world to many of the other characters. The fact that Minako could have social links that lead to these strong bonds with Shinjiro, Akihiko, Junpei, and Ken while the male protagonist couldn't has always been really important to me.
> 
> That's not to say the male protagonist isn't important too, of course! Just some stuff to think about between chapters.
> 
> Note: I'm so lucky the male protagonist has so many canon names, or I wouldn't have been able to pluck out Shiomi as Minako's fake last name. Also, I swear Yukari and Mitsuru will show up very soon.


	5. Chapter 5

_“So, what do you think?”_

_The three original members of SEES stepped into the hallway at Mitsuru and Yukari’s apartment, speaking in somewhat hushed tones. The redhead hadn’t uncrossed her arms for their entire meeting, but Minako gave yet another compelling performance that afternoon._

_“She’s perfect for the role,” Mitsuru admitted, though she clearly wasn’t happy. “But I don’t quite believe in serendipity. There are a few things about Shiomi that baffle me, to be honest.”_

_He felt like telling her to join the club, but resisted the urge._

It was less than an hour until midnight. The full moon hung in the sky, taunting the team from outside a wide window in Mitsuru’s living room. Shinjiro wondered if the members of SEES always felt this tense before their big missions in high school. This tension was something he never really had an opportunity to share with them. At least it was a small crowd.

But that made it tricky to ignore the details of the scene. Akihiko was having a hard time keeping still, which was annoying since there was plenty of room for pacing between the sturdy, western style furniture. Yukari and Mitsuru were fussing over one of the old pieces of equipment that the Kirijo Group had them using to track shadows back in the day. If there was any sign of trouble once the Dark Hour came, it would be their best bet for finding it quickly.

Yukari yawned and rested her head against Mitsuru’s shoulder. Shinjiro briefly noticed their hands lacing together before pointedly taking interest in a framed photograph on the wall. He didn’t want to think about how the girls were able to silently support each other like that while he and Minako weren’t even sitting on the same couch. They were taking the team out for a test run no matter what came up on Mitsuru’s radio, if only to do a performance evaluation of their new leader.

He couldn’t figure out if she was nervous. Mostly because the silence kept him from wanting to make eye contact with her, lest someone mistake it for anything besides friendly indifference. Honestly, all of the arbitrary rules he made for himself were getting out of control. Hopefully he’d stop worrying whether or not people saw him holding someone’s hand soon. What was he so afraid of? He was a fucking adult, wasn’t he?

“Five minutes until the Dark Hour,” Mitsuru informed them. Shinjiro felt mysteriously unfazed, now faced with an _actual_ problem to deal with in the near future. It was like turning his brain off at work, but tonight it would be chopping up shadows instead of onions. “You should all double check your equipment. It’s been a while for most of us, and I don’t want you leaving things behind.”

Everyone but Mitsuru got to their feet. Shinjiro walked past the table where their evokers and several weapons were laid out, straight to Minako. She was double-knotting her pink and white running shoes, which was both forward thinking and immensely endearing.

She was also already wearing her evoker. The holster was strapped onto her thigh over the pair of soft blue denim jeans she had on.

“So,” he began, tilting his head toward the scuffed naginata propped up beside the chair she’d been sitting in. “Did any of your classmates see you with that thing? It’s taller than you are, so... not exactly subtle.”

“The people on the train looked annoyed, but my friends are used to seeing it by now.” She frowned, as if recalling shuffling through the city with the weapon at her side. He could imagine the stares she got. “I used to do competitions, so they just think I’m taking it outside to practice.”

“Jeez, another athlete? That makes four of us.” Yukari slung a quiver of arrows across her shoulder, looking around the large space until her gaze landed on Shinjiro. “I mean… formally trained, at least. Where did you learn how to use an axe, senpai?”

That damn word again. He was sick of reminding people not to call him that.

“There wasn’t much to learn.” He hoisted his axe from the table and tested his grip while he spoke. It was double-sided, so it had a nice balance to it. He noticed the metal on the curved blades were chipped in a few places. “I aim and swing. I just don’t look good when I do it like you so-called ‘athletes’.”

Yukari and Minako laughed, and Shinjiro fought to keep the warm feeling in his chest from affecting his expression. The topic brought them into a casual conversation about how SEES operated in its different forms over the years. The chitchat didn’t feel forced, which he figured was a good sign.

“When we first started out, Shinji needed something on the heavy side to help defend himself,” Akihiko explained. He’d thrown on his coat and was already moving with a little bounce in his step. His excitement bled into his footwork, even without an actual fight going on yet. “His persona does more than enough to make up for any training. Castor used to rip shadows apart before I could even get in a single hit.”

“It’s a good thing you held onto your evoker, Shinjiro.” Mitsuru spoke up from the other side of the room. It might have been his imagination, but the words seemed unusually pointed. “I seem to recall you once telling Akihiko that you threw it off of the Moonlight Bridge.”

God, he used to be a spiteful little shithead. He said that specifically to make Aki angry not long after he dropped out of school. It was just an embarrassing memory now, thankfully.

“Oh, I didn’t even notice until now.” Yukari shifted her weight between both feet, gripping the back of a chair and apparently considering something very deeply. “We all got our evokers because of the Kirijo Group, right? Where did you get one, Minako?”

Both Shinjiro and Minako opened their mouths to reply, but nothing came out. There was an awkward beat, and it was almost mortifying that they managed to forget such an obvious detail. Their eyes met in the silence carved out by their non-answer, her crimson ones visibly pleading for a quick justification that would fix things.

But they didn’t have to do anything. Clocks began to chime in the distance, and the breezy conversation came to a forced halt. Mitsuru’s equipment produced a strange, oscillating buzzing sound that became the center of attention. The room was bathed in green moonlight within seconds, and the light from the CRT screen cast abstract shadows across the grim expression on the redhead’s face.

“There’s already a much stronger reading than the previous nights,” she told them. Her hands adjusted several dials laid out in front of her, though she didn’t seem happy with whatever information it was spitting out. “I’ll need time to hone in on the exact location. Go downtown, I’ll use the radio to keep you up-to-date.”

“Been there, done that.” Akihiko nodded, plucking his evoker from the table and moving out of the room. “Ready for your first crash course on the full moon, Minako?”

“Be serious, Akihiko.” She called after him. “You’re a team, so help her through this mission. I expect rousing success, not reckless abandon.” He waved over his shoulder, as if to say ‘yeah, yeah’, and disappeared from view.

“We’ll be fine.” Shinjiro was eager to get out of there, and knew Mitsuru and Yukari would probably want to say their own goodbyes. He stuffed his evoker into his coat pocket, then grabbed Minako by the sleeve of her coat with his axe-free hand. He began pulling her toward the front hall. “Meet you out front, Takeba.”

They lingered behind Akihiko, who had already stepped out of the front door. At least the others would be distracted for a minute or two. They could only talk for so long without being overheard.

“I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.”

He turned around to see Minako grimacing, eyes narrow with frustration. It was an expression she didn’t wear often. It looked stilted and wrong, like it didn’t fit her face.

“Mitsuru probably noticed right away and waited for the right moment to bring it up,” she told him. She nervously wrung the shaft of her naginata. Her anxiety was infectious, but he did his best to resist partaking. “There’s not even a lie that would’ve made it okay. I _shouldn’t_ have an evoker. I’m not a member of SEES.”

Shinjiro wasn’t able to say that she was wrong. It wasn’t all _true_ , but she had a point. They both fucked up, even after their extensive preparation, and it wasn’t a good feeling. He stepped closer, gently laying a hand on her shoulder.

“The girls will come around. Aki might not remember you yet, but he trusts you.” He wasn’t sure why he didn’t realize it immediately, but it dawned on him that they were finally, _actually_ alone. After a split second of hesitation, his hand drifted over to catch her chin and tilt her face up so their eyes could meet. “I trust you, Minako.”

Her expression softened and her fingers adjusted their grip on her naginata for a moment. It reminded him of their initial reunion behind the mall, but now they were both holding weapons so an emotional embrace was out of the question. It was unconventional, but still stirred up some intensely tender feelings in his stomach. It worked for them.

Footsteps began to approach from the living room, and Shinjiro’s arm retreated back to his side. Before he had a chance to say or do anything else particularly profound, Minako was already walking past him.

She did, however, stop to grab the lapel of his coat and pull him sharply downward. He felt a soft peck on his cheek one moment, then watched her continue down the hallway the very next. Her ponytail swung cheerfully behind her as she left him there to go join Akihiko outside. Yukari also walked past him a few seconds later, turning to teasingly remind him that they were on a time limit.

He wondered if she’d seen what happened. For once, he didn’t really care.

 _“What, and our old team_ **_wasn’t_ ** _baffling?” Akihiko was ready with a retort, and Shinjiro was grateful to have someone to help his case. “A schoolkid, a robot, and a dog helped us save the world. Minako seems perfectly qualified, if you ask me.”_

 _“That’s not it,” she insisted, voice lowering to a sharp whisper. Her brow was furrowed in concern. “I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but the last strange persona-users we met very nearly_ **_murdered_ ** _one of us.”_

_“It’s nice of you to look out for me, but it’s not like we got a choice here.” Shinjiro pointed at each of them, purposefully not addressing the fact that Mitsuru had earnestly drawn a parallel between Minako and Strega. Dwelling on it for more than a second made his blood boil._

_“Without the others, there’s only five of us for now. If we want someone on support, that’s a four-person team. Any less and we’ll never stand a chance.”_

The party shuffled through half a dozen city blocks, though the occasional shadows blocking their path made it feel longer. He could tell Minako had to stop herself from fully taking the helm, but she was still a natural leader. She had an eye for which of their enemies might be a nuisance if they weren’t disposed of first, and kept up a strong defense so they wouldn’t waste much energy on their way to the big bad.

Unfortunately, things were bound to get complicated sooner or later. The group had not-so-gently jostled the lock on a pair of large doors and were carefully stepping into a painfully familiar building. Mitsuru’s readings had lead them all the way over to the Gekkoukan High dormitory, and nobody seemed happy about it.

“This can’t be a coincidence.” Akihiko spoke aloud, but the apprehensive declaration didn’t seem to be aimed at anyone in particular. More like he was trying to convince himself that these kind of coincidences don’t happen in real life.

“Coincidence or not, there’s a powerful shadow heading to the top level of the building,” she informed them. The radio static wasn’t enough to hide the edge to her voice. “Akihiko, Yukari -- You remember what happened last time. Proceed with caution.”

Shinjiro was told a while back that a shadow had attacked the dorm once before. Apparently the casualties would have been much worse if the team hadn’t been saved by the new transfer student. He and Minako looked at each other for a moment. He wasn’t sure what she was thinking, but he sort of hoped that she could tell he was proud. Regardless, the team began slowly advancing into the building.

“It was unofficial, but our first Full Moon Operation started here,” Akihiko explained, clearly trying to clue Minako in on the tense atmosphere. As if she didn’t know the details. “I got hurt pretty bad when the shadow cornered me. Yukari was trying to get away when…”

He trailed off, chewing the inside of his cheek uncertainly.

“Let’s just say that if it’s the same one, it’ll be surprised to see me.” Yukari continued the thought, throwing the team an encouraging smile. “My aim’s gotten a lot better. So has Isis’.”

As they made their way up the main staircase, it was impossible not to look around a little. Hell, Shinjiro’s memories wouldn’t _let_ him ignore all of the history they were passing by. He remembered how the lounge smelled the night he cooked for everyone. And the music that used to play in Minako’s room when she was holed up studying for a big test. The ache in his chest wasn’t awful, at least. Maybe his body knew that, for tonight at least, he had a job to do.

The building was clear of shadows, which left an opportunity to share hushed tales of previous missions during the full moon and what to expect. How SEES went about overcoming obstacles, their handful of close calls, and mentions of their previous leader while never managing to actually name Minato Arisato or explain his fate. The next time he tried to catch their leader’s eye, she kept her gaze stubbornly forward.

He wondered if it was painful for Minako to hear them tell these stories as if she wasn’t there for them.

They continued their ascent and the conversation (mostly between Akihiko and Yukari) eventually died down. On the top floor, they could hear the distinct noise of something very large slowly dragging itself across the concrete roof. The building creaked in protest, halting the group.

“Do you have visual confirmation?” Mitsuru broke the silence, though she was kind enough to let them breathe for a minute. “We need to do something about this shadow, and quickly. As far as we know, the students living in the dormitory are in immediate danger.”

Unfortunately, if they waited until they felt ready to climb that final set of stairs, they would be waiting forever.

“The students will be fine,” Minako said calmly. Her profile had adopted a familiar sharpness, broadcasting her determination loud and clear. Maybe that alone would be enough to make the high school kids, dormant in their coffins, feel a little bit safer. “It passed right by them without stopping. It knows we’re here, and it wants a fight.”

“Then we’ll give it one.” Akihiko turned to Shinjiro, giving his shoulder a friendly, motivational punch. It wasn’t as gentle as he probably thought it was, but a thin smile pulled at his lips nonetheless. “Feel like leading the charge?”

Shinjiro moved toward the stairs, ready to chaperone the rest of the team up to the roof.

“Not really,” he conceded, “but I sure as hell don’t feel like standing here doing nothing all night.”

They climbed the stairs and pushed the heavy metal door open, immediately met with a rush of humid wind that pushed right back. Every inch of metal and stone was bathed in moonlight, making their view of the city almost welcoming. It didn’t take long to see what else was politely waiting for their arrival that night.

The shadow was nothing they’d ever seen before. It was a horrific amalgamation of shapes and suggestions, every piece pouring out of a single, sprawling base of black sludge. It had long, narrow limbs that held a myriad of strange daggers. A feminine torso looked as though it were attempting to crawl out of the mass and escape, long green tendrils of hair twitching and feeling in every direction as its head scrapped forcefully against the hard ground. There were masks scattered throughout the monstrous form, all marked with a different roman numeral. It was much wider than it was tall, and it still towered over them by a significant margin.

They were stunned, but that didn’t stop the team from making a cautious approach.

“I don’t understand,” Yukari muttered anxiously, drawing an arrow in anticipation. If Shinjiro was able to take his eyes off of the shadow, he figured she would probably look just as worried as she sounded. “Why... does it look like this? I-It can’t be the same one...”

It lifted its main head to the sky, emitting a sickening, garbled shriek. There was a moment of silence, then nearly all of its dozens of limbs lashed out at once. They swept the party in opposite directions, it’s expanding appendages throwing them each off of their feet and rolling across the unnaturally hot ground. Shinjiro only bothered to prop himself up on an arm before grabbing his evoker and throwing any remaining caution to the wind.

He was no strategist, but he knew they desperately needed this thing dead.

“Cut this bastard up, Castor!”

Several dozen blades of light sliced through the air and into the shadow. Two of the limbs hurling toward Yukari were chopped off in mid-air, and the sheer velocity of the attack made it splatter gruesomely onto the ground beside her. The rest of the team was rousing from their collective temporary daze now and they began to shout out their own attacks as they stood up.

“Caesar!”

“Isis!”

The lightning and wind hit the shadow at the same time. Some of the force twisted the figures in the amalgamation, and it let out a hollow, pained cry. Pieces of its translucent flesh was torn off and flung onto the ground. It was slowly, but surely getting smaller.

“Akihiko, behind you!”

A brunette blur sprinted across the length of the roof, naginata hoisted over her shoulder. The pieces of the shadow they’d knocked off were darting along the ground, making sickly, wet noises as they slapped back together. The newly formed pile stretched out until it had at least four new arms, all of them producing another new, crude blade.

Minako used her momentum to swing hard at the smaller shadow, cleaving it two. Though the figure seemed to deflate for a moment, they soon began sliding along the ground to reform again.

“It’s immune to physical damage!” Mitsuru’s agitated voice came in through the radio, confirming the bad news. “Shinjiro, protect the others. The most you can do is provide a distraction if anyone is in serious danger.”

He didn’t like the sound of that, but there was no point in arguing. He couldn’t use elements, and splitting the shadow up was giving them more targets than they should reasonably be focused on.

The confusion delayed them for several more moments, which seemed to be the point. The shadow had already regrown a number of its limbs, and Shinjiro only noticed that it was going for another attack when he was being knocked off of his feet again.

He and Akihiko spilled toward the back corner of the roof, while the girls were still well within range. The first thing he noticed was that they hadn’t been knocked over. Yukari had a hand pressed to her temple, staggering while a thick line of blood trailed down her face. With each new strike, Shinjiro realized they were slowly being covered in thin, perfectly horizontal cuts from head to toe.

In the meantime, Minako had raised her naginata to intercept the limbs that lashed out at them. This saved them from endless additional cuts and bruises from the force, but didn’t do anything to cripple their foe. Its flesh bubbled and twisted as it spit hands out to replace the felled ones. The masked faces were laughing. The girls wouldn’t be able to get away.

“Yukari, Minako!” Akihiko struggled to sit up, his diction slightly off-kilter thanks to a swollen, angry split lip from the last attack. He still seemed dazed, too. “Get to the stairs, we need to regroup!”

The two girls stared at each other, almost in awe of their situation. A decision had to be made, and quickly. They both fumbled for their evokers, but Minako shot herself first. She aimed under her chin, a burst of blue light violently exiting from the back of her skull.

"Arahabaki!”

There was a small, white flash before the shadow’s limbs engulfed them like a crashing wave, sweeping away half of their team in a single stroke. Minako went crashing against the stairwell entrance and Yukari tumbled back to join Shinjiro and Akihiko along with another chunk of arms that splattered some distance away from them.

The moonlight danced across something hovering inches from Yukari’s face. It looked like an invisible sheet of glass was catching the light, which faded as the stunned young woman tried to make sense of what happened. She was alarmed, but no worse for wear.

Apparently, that barrier had reflected the damage back onto the shadow. Minako wasn’t able to protect both of them, and Shinjiro was horrified to find that she took the brunt of the attack as a result.

Their leader was slumped by the brick wall, a few inches from the door Akihiko had foolishly hoped they would all make it through intact. There was a dark stain in her white winter jacket, exposing a painful-looking gash in her stomach. She was completely vulnerable once again, and Mitsuru bellowed as much in his ear.

But the three of them hadn’t even gotten to their feet yet. Yukari and Akihiko were both nursing head injuries, and Shinjiro couldn’t do shit to stop the amalgamation’s attacks. As if isolating the one person he worried about the most was its goal from the beginning, it reared back and prepared to lash out one final time.

Minako struggled to get up, bracing the stairwell entrance with her free hand. She was smearing blood on every inch of brick she touched, and hot, angry tears had wet her cheeks. Her smoldering red eyes stared down the colossal shadow. In a single swift movement, she fiercely jammed the barrel of the evoker to her temple and pulled the trigger.

**_“Thanatos!”_ **

A figure appeared in the space between Minako and the shadow, cloaking her in its bizarre silhouette. It wore a mantle of what looked like coffins, and they cast long, striped shadows across her unwavering frame. The persona let out a primal roar from its large, mechanical jaw. It furiously brandished a slender sword at its foe, but didn’t advance despite the unmistakeable rage spilling out from inside of it.

He refused to believe a savage monster like that could possibly live inside someone like Minako.

The surrounded area lit up as thin purple lines shot along the ground, connecting to each other and drawing dour circles that formed a massive seal beneath the shadow. Lavender fire burst upward, and it sounded as though a thousand more anguished voices had joined in the screaming. The light and wind quickly became too much, blanketing the entire roof in deafening blankness.

By the time the scene settled and Shinjiro was able to open his eyes, the amalgamation had vanished.

The sole evidence that a shadow had very nearly killed them was a circle burned into the ground. A delicate line of smoke wafted lazily toward the night sky, as if there was never any threat to begin with.

The muted sound of a body crumpling to the concrete broke the bone-chilling silence, and Shinjiro finally found that his legs were working again as he scrambled over to Minako’s limp figure. He dropped to his knees, palms clammy as he turned her over. She wouldn’t let go of her evoker.

“Minako!”

His throat felt like it was full of gravel. He scanned her pale face, frustrated by the shadow being cast by the wild persona floating persistently above them. Her expression was too peaceful for someone with such a nasty injury. He took hold of her shoulders and shook.

“ _Hey_ ,” he urged her, determined to hold onto hope for as long as possible. The universe wouldn’t give her a new life and then take it away again so soon. He wasn’t an optimist, but he also didn’t believe she would leave without finishing her job. “Minako, _wake up_. I’m getting sick of this hero shit..!”

A streak of soft light slipped between them, brushing over the tarnished **XXII** charm sticking to her damp skin. There were other, shallow cuts decorating her collarbone and torso that had torn open the front of her jacket. He’d almost forgotten she would be wearing the necklace, but there it was again, shining brilliantly up at him.

Shinjiro thought he was seeing it catch the moonlight, but it wasn’t the dull shade of green it should have been. It looked like a river of warm purple light was getting caught in its gravitational pull, and it kept getting brighter.

Soon the charm was pulsing, as if it were alive.

He lifted his head to search for the source of the light, and her massive persona stared right down at him. Its expressionless face almost seemed docile now, but something about it still deeply disturbed him.

The figure was becoming less solid by the second. Pieces of it burned, crumbling like ash and transforming into more of the weird fog. He turned his attention back to Minako, hearing only his own tense breathing and mind numbing white noise.

A strangled gasp tore through her throat and echoed in the space between the nearby buildings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I learned this chapter:
> 
> Writing fights scenes based on a turn-based RPG's combat system is mind-numbing.
> 
> It also adds 1k+ words to your usual chapter length.
> 
> Hope the extra long chapter was worth the wait and that I did our new characters justice! The actual, actual plot is finally here!!
> 
> (It might take a while for the next chapter to come out! I have cosplay stuff to work on and Anime Boston is at the very beginning of April. I'll write when I can, but I'm also planning on playing ME Andromeda a lot in the near future.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning! I don't know how to describe it without spoiling specific parts of this chapter, but this is a fair warning that things aren't going great. Shinjiro is grieving and definitely isn't in a good place. He floats thoughts of self-harm and takes his frustrations out on others. Nothing graphic, but definitely some uncomfortable situations.
> 
> This chapter and the next one are going to be much less light-hearted as we dive into Minako's issues, so please use your own discretion!

_“Oh, thank god! She’s breathing!”_

_Yukari sounded as though she was trying very hard not to panic. He empathized. “I’ll grab our weapons, you two get her downstairs! We have to keep her safe until we can call an ambulance.”_

_A figure knelt beside him, and Shinjiro turned to see Akihiko’s own pale, tired face._

_“She’ll be alright if we put pressure on that cut. D’you need help carrying her?”_

_He shook his head, mouth too dry to form a reply._

_He didn’t feel like talking anyway._

He was getting _too_ used to hanging around the hospital.

The commotion they created by storming in had died down by the early afternoon. Minako was taken into another room. The rest of them got patched up, occasionally requesting an update on their leader’s condition. Physically, she would be okay. But for some reason, she still wasn’t conscious. The doctor couldn’t figure out why.

After a few short conversations and gentle arguments, Shinjiro convinced the others to head home. Escapade could survive without him. They had more important things to do, and he promised to let them know when she woke up.

 _When_. They were all very insistent about it being ‘when’ and not ‘if’.

Her room at the hospital was nice. Spacious and well-furnished. As usual, it was all because of Mitsuru. Even with all of the questions hanging in the air, she was still being generous to Minako. He’d have to remember to thank her later.

Shinjiro set himself up in an armchair beside her bed for most of the day. There was a large TV on the wall, but he turned it off as soon as the nurses left. Even if she wasn’t conscious, her soft, measured breathing filled the room just fine. He was happy to listen to it until he fell asleep in the early evening.

His chest was aching all day, unsurprisingly. Memories flashed like bad dreams on the insides of his eyes.

He was slumped over toward one side of the chair when a familiar chime shook the air around him. He woke with a start, sitting up slowly and stretching his stiff back with a soft grunt. They were on a high enough floor in the hospital that the clock seemed louder than usual.

The room had turned green and the foreboding buzz of nothingness signaled to him that the Dark Hour had come once again. It felt like weeks had passed, but it’d only been one full day since they confronted that horror show on top of the dorm.

Shinjiro got to his feet, gripping the edge of Minako’s bed and taking stock of how bad it really was for the millionth time.

The doctors had taken out her ponytail, her auburn locks now tumbling down past her shoulders. They’d cleaned all of her cuts, but there were still some dried streaks of dark red in her hairline. She appeared healthy, aside from the occasional flinch and frown persistently pulling at her lips.  
It was like she was dreaming that someone was repeatedly attempting to strike or grab her.

“I so wish that I could say that things are going splendidly.” A gloved hand gently brushed across Minako’s cheek. Another figure had appeared in the room, and Elizabeth was suddenly standing at the opposite side of the bed. “Our Master seems determined as ever to make herself into a martyr.”

“Should we be thankful that she has been unsuccessful thus far? Or worried, perhaps, that we are no longer surprised by this behavior?”

Sure enough, Theo’s own appearance at his sister’s side was accompanied by only a few soft footsteps as he emerged from somewhere in Shinjiro’s periphery.

He wasn’t thrilled to see the siblings, but at least this time they didn’t surprise him. As long as they behaved, he didn’t have a problem. The mere thought of arguing in his current mental state was exhausting anyway.

“I used to rather enjoy allowing her to perplex me,” Theo continued, though it didn’t sound like he was addressing anyone in particular. He wore a forlorn expression, clasping Minako’s cold hand between his own. “But, summoning such a powerful incarnation of the Death Arcana? To think she was capable of such a feat, and we never saw it inside of her…”

“Sounds like there’s blame to go around.” Shinjiro took a step back, hands retreating to his pockets like usual. Something about the three of them looming over the bed made him feel like they were crowding her. “You’re saying something's wrong, right? Using a persona isn't supposed to hurt her like that.”

“It’s a complex issue.” Elizabeth looked up at him for just a moment, then politely returned her hands to her sides. Her voice had a mournful slant to it. Exaggerated; much like every other emotion he’d seen her express in their last meeting. “I do not know why Master Minako could summon Thanatos. If a persona resides naturally within her mind, my brother and I should have been able to see it.”

He wasn’t sure he _really_ understood what that meant, but it wasn’t for him to know anyway. This was Minako’s thing. He was an outsider when it came to anything regarding Elizabeth and Theo’s world. The fact that they even bothered trying to explain this heady, immaterial bullshit to him was a paltry courtesy.

“And you didn’t know about it when you asked her to fight again, I get it.” He didn’t have to like them, but Shinjiro believed the blondes genuinely cared for their master. Blaming them for what happened would be a waste of energy. “So, that means what, exactly? Did it come out of her by accident?”

“No,” Theo shook his head, letting out the faintest sniffle. He took just one hand off of Minako’s, gesturing further up her body. The neckline of her hospital gown was low enough to see her necklace charm, sitting innocently against her newly scarred collarbone. “She may not have noticed his presence until that vital moment, but Master Minako purposefully called upon Thanatos. He had been waiting, primed to awaken at a moment’s notice.”

Shinjiro opened his mouth, then closed it again. That damn necklace. He knew there was something weird about it, but he never thought it would be this grotesque. There was cold sweat crawling across his neck, assuming the worst. He ignored it.

“The necklace is possessing her?” It was a shot in the dark, and a pretty damn rudimentary one. He shook his head and started over. “I mean, that thing in the necklace. It’s using it to... live inside her body? Like what happened last time.” Like what happened when Death itself was living inside her. He wanted to say that part too, but the words wouldn't come out.

Elizabeth gave a non-committal sort of ‘yes and no’ and pivoted into another long winded explanation, but he wasn’t listening this time. He vividly remembered watching Thanatos crumble, that ghostly purple fog sinking into the necklace as he held onto Minako. She wasn’t moving. Her lips were turning blue and her skin was clammy.

He’d seen her dead once already. He knew what it looked like.

His feet began to move back toward the bed. He leaned over her and rested his left hand on the mattress, beside her shoulder. She was still breathing softly in her sleep, and some color had returned to her face.

But she looked scared. Like something was deeply wrong, and she couldn’t do anything about it.

Before he could stop himself, Shinjiro’s other hand slipped beneath the delicate silver chain. He pulled it sharply. Elizabeth fell silent and watched.

An isolated flash of lavender light flickered across all of the shapes and figures in the room. The necklace didn’t snap like he hoped it would. It held strong, and he continued pulling. The chain bit into his palm and into the back of Minako’s neck.

It didn’t have a clasp or hook. Why didn’t he notice before?

Minako’s shoulders lifted away from her pillow as he desperately urged her neck further upward, head rolling back limply. Her dry lips parted for a few heavy, uneasy breaths. The back of his hand was close enough to brush against her throat when she fidgeted from the discomfort. He felt her swallow, a distressed whimper cracking inside her throat.

He let go, and she dropped back down from the four of five inches that he’d pulled her up.

“Fuck.” Shinjiro took several steps away from the bed, burying his face in his hands. He could feel his heart racing as he bent forward. There was a humiliating combination of sweat and tears dampening his cheeks. “ _Fuck!_ How am I supposed to help her? There’s gotta be something!”

He turned to look at the pair of blondes, arms falling limply back to his sides. None of his exhaustion and desperation was reflected in their expressions. They simply looked back at him, each set of cold yellow eyes shining with tentative interest.

“A way to help?” Elizabeth lifted both hands, a large tome appearing before her in a small burst of blue light. It hovered an inch or so above her outstretched palm, the pages turning rapidly as her other hand swept over it. The supernatural wind made her short blonde hair look like it was doing a haunting, jovial dance “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

Of course they wouldn’t have shown up if they were only going to stand around and complain.

A set of strange blue cards circled the siblings, rotating and moving at different angles every few seconds. Eventually all but two returned to the book. Elizabeth tilted her head toward her brother, giving him some kind of cue to start speaking.

“The Fool has an optimistic heart, and may occasionally look to the Moon for guidance.” Theo turned his eyes thoughtfully toward the ceiling as he spoke, as if reciting from memory. “This may cause distortion in her world, but that does not mean the answers she yearns for are entirely absent. The Moon unconsciously inspires action, as is its very nature. Like pulling the tides from still water, it is capable of constructing solutions where none previously existed.”

Shinjiro felt like they were intentionally provoking him for some reason. He didn’t know what to say to that. Fortune-telling was little more than dressed up bullshit in his opinion, and he certainly wasn’t in the mood for a riddle. Elizabeth, however, seemed to sense his less-than-enthusiastic reception to the speech. She gave another one of her long, drawn out sighs.

“Oh, Theo. It wouldn’t kill us to speak plainly from time to time.” Elizabeth rapped the back of her hand against her brother’s chest, making him step aside so that she could walk past him and around the bed. “Master Shinjiro doesn’t want to hear you wax poetic about his place in the hand fate has dealt this poor city.”

It might have been his imagination, but Theo looked slightly offended.

“What my brother means to say is that there must be something you can offer Master Minako that no one else can,” she continued. Everything about her face made her look like she was smiling, but her mouth kept a deliberate straight line. “Something that will prevent Thanatos from doing permanent damage to her body and mind. How’s that for inspiration?”

Shinjiro ran a hand through his hair. He had an idea, but he didn’t like it.

“I can work with that,” he conceded.

_“She’s, uh… special to you, right?”_

_He and Akihiko finally had a spare minute to sit down once it was mid-morning. Yukari was the last to get her wounds looked at by the doctor, so all they had to do now was wait._

_Akihiko was sporting a few dark stitches on his bottom lip._

_“Minako, I mean.” As if he needed to clarify._

_Shinjiro picked at the bandage wrapped around his forearm. Not that it wasn’t getting obvious, but Aki really did know him better than anyone. There was no point in playing dumb._

_“She saved my life,” he replied simply. “I’ll tell you the whole story sometime.”_

Hastily pulling out Minako’s IV and wrapping her in her own ripped up, bloodstained jacket was a rough way to get his new plan rolling. He didn’t have much of a choice, though. The only way he could get her out of the hospital without being spotted was if he did it during the Dark Hour.

He didn’t have time to feel bad about using dubiously ethical methods to get it done.

At least she seemed relaxed. Once or twice, he tried to imagine what this would feel like under different circumstances. Like if she fell asleep in the lounge at the dorm and he wanted to carry her upstairs without waking her. That gave him some pretty fucking complicated feelings, though, so he stopped thinking about it. His energy was better spent focusing on reality anyway.

The city had its upsides, and everything being close to each other was one of them. The hospital wasn’t far from Paulownia Mall, which wasn’t far from Shinjiro’s apartment. Nearly anywhere you wanted to go was less than a twenty minute walk away. He never appreciated the convenience of urban life so much, even if the nighttime crowds always found new ways to piss him off.

He carried her past groups of coffins that loitered on nearly every street corner. Of course, it was only midnight. It seemed natural that the city would still be filled with teenagers (and some adults) pissing the night away. For a split second he envied their ‘everyday’ kind of problems. But only for a second.

Minako would want him to be glad that normal people were safe enough to have normal problems.

They staggered through the door to his apartment sometime later, and he was breathing hard from sheer effort alone. Minako wasn’t heavy, but he still jogged through the city with over one hundred pounds in his arms. It was a small relief to finally put her down.

His place wasn’t anything fancy. The building was old and didn’t offer much by way of space, which he could really only make up for by keeping it neat and clean. He carried her several paces into his carpeted room and laid her down on the bed. While sliding the bloodied jacket off of her and replacing it with a blanket, he made a mental note to get her real clothes as soon as possible.

The hospital gown looked even more depressing outside of the actual hospital.

He started digging through his closet, which was the only thing in his apartment that he wished he’d organized a little better. Unfortunately, it was easy to just shove things he didn’t feel like dealing with in there. When he had to unearth his evoker from beneath other depressing piles of high school stuff, he didn’t bother putting any of it back in proper order. At least his negligence then made it easier to find what he was looking for now.

His SEES armband was still sitting in the same box. Shinjiro tentatively lifted the corner of it, exposing a glint of twisted, crushed brass beneath it. The mangled pieces of his watch peeked back at him from under the fabric. It used to look fairly alien to him in this state, but he suddenly found himself identifying with it.

Not because it was ‘broken’, or some other equally obvious, dramatic word. The pieces of metal that warped and pulled away from the pocket watch’s cover looked a whole hell of a lot like how his chest felt when determined old memories vibrated against the interior of his skull. If he didn’t know for a fact that the Kirijo Group employed the best doctors in Japan, he’d wonder if they left big pieces of metal in him that should have been taken out.

An uproarious cheer came from somewhere outside of the apartment. He glanced over his shoulder, failing to notice from the closet that the Dark Hour had finally ended. There was a group of teenagers passing through the alley below his bedroom window, all chatting excitedly about their plans for the rest of the night. He let out a reluctant sigh, scooping up what he went looking for in the first place. He put the box back where he found it.

He gripped the bottle of suppressors, pointer finger tapping the edge of the lid as he considered his options. The pills shook rhythmically against the plastic. Shinjiro looked from the small white tablets over to where Minako was curled up on his bed and chewed the inside of his cheek apprehensively.

Elizabeth said he had something no one else did. This was the only thing he could think of.

Sitting on the edge of his mattress, Shinjiro took the lid off of the bottle and shook a single pill into his hand. When he originally decided to hold onto the suppressors, he figured they would be a ‘last resort’ sort of thing just in case there was an incident with Castor again.

Instead, he was going to try and save someone’s life with them. It would have been funny if it wasn’t terrifying.

The side effects were bad enough that they would have killed him eventually. Even on the day he woke up at the hospital, after several months of being clean, they were still wreaking havoc on his body. He remembered coughing and hacking as he climbed the stairs to the school roof. His lungs felt like they were on fire, but that didn’t slow him down. Seeing her again was more important than a little bit of pain.

Shinjiro grimaced, his stomach still twisting incessantly. He scanned Minako’s sleeping face and wondered if he was imagining the uneasiness in her expression. The only reason he knew that something was inside her this time was because Elizabeth and Theo had told him so.

When it was that Ryoji kid, he never suspected a thing. That whole time there was an asshole shadow looking out from inside her innocent eyes, wearing her skin like a mask. It watched his reaction when Minako told him that she loved him. It was there when she laughed shyly and helped him undo all the buttons and zippers on her fussy school uniform. Those memories were stained with the realization that they weren’t private, and it made him sick.

Maybe he just wanted to believe that he was the only one that could save her. But there weren’t any fairytales that ended with a knight forcing a princess to swallow a pill.

So, he was at the point of blindly trusting non-human strangers. Shinjiro bent over to grasp Minako’s jaw, urging her mouth to open as gently as he could. Her brow furrowed unconsciously at the contact, and she still seemed bound and determined to defend herself from something. Both of her slender hands vainly attempted to push him away. The tips of her fingers were cold, almost lifeless against his wrist.

There was still an angry red mark on her neck from when he tried to pull the necklace off. He pretended he didn’t see it and pressed the pill between her lips and teeth. Closing her mouth and then his own eyes, he tilted her head back and waited until he felt her swallow.

Minako twisted fruitlessly against his grip again, and her long nails unsteadily pinched the skin of his wrist. Her grip was shaky. She would probably pull apart the bandage wrapped around his arm with her blind scratching, but he didn’t mind. If a couple marks and a reopened wound was what he got in return for this, he could think of it as a trade. Suffering for suffering seemed fair.

Self-flagellation and cooking were the only things he was truly good at, he supposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woof, this was a rough one! I complained on twitter than the first half was fun because Elizabeth was just running rampant over Theo and Shinji, but the second half was really tough. Hopefully the lack of dialog didn't make it a slog, but I really wanted to get deep into Shinjiro's thought process and how he weighed his options.
> 
> He didn't feel good about it, but he trusted that Elizabeth and Theo and understood that being possessed by Thanatos isn't something that a doctor can fix. It also made him think about her previous experience with this kind of thing, which really disturbs him on an instinctual level. Minako is so closely associated with Death in the series, but he can't help seeing her as the ultimate in goodness and purity.
> 
> ...While still struggling with the concept that she's more complex than that and he knows it. Phew! These teens, man. I see these layers and I just can't stop peeling. Hope you liked the chapter and it made you feel things!
> 
> (Final note: that last line is one of my favorite things I've ever written for Shinjiro. pessimists are so fun to write.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: The first italicized paragraph in this chapter contains a somewhat graphic description of a wound. It may also be upsetting to anyone who is sensitive to depictions of self-harm, though the injury being examined is not self-inflicted. Please use your own discretion!

_He took the bandage off of his forearm. All of Minako’s clawing had pulled it loose in a few spots, so he had to change the dressing while he still had some downtime._

_The wound was red and swollen where the stitches had been disturbed, and he took a moment to consider how impressively deep the gash was. His flesh was practically butterflied, and a thin line of blood was quickly welling up between the parted skin._

_Cuts and scrapes from shadows never did heal like normal wounds. He let it bleed into the sink for a while._

The Kirijo Group had been notified of Minako’s disappearance not long after the Dark Hour ended. The other members of SEES could put two and two together, so there wasn’t much ‘laying low’ to be done. No time to relax, though he was getting used to that part.

Mitsuru sent a single, cryptic text message that read: ‘We’ll talk later.’, which showed some amount of respect for his time, at least. Aki, on the other hand, wanted to talk _now_. Shinjiro watched his phone light up and vibrate demandingly in his palm several times before giving in. If he didn’t answer eventually, it would only get worse.

He wasn’t sure what to say when he picked up.

“You can’t just _kidnap_ someone from a hospital, Shinji!” The voice of his friend filled the silence created by the lack of a ‘hello’ or ‘some blonde assholes made me do it’. Neither of those were a great way to start this conversation anyway. “Did you think the doctors wouldn’t notice?”

“Nah, but I knew Mitsuru wouldn’t call the cops on me.” Though hoarse and tired, he found his voice for the first time since leaving the hospital. Nice to know his sense of humor had survived this ordeal.

“You’re lucky she didn’t,” Akihiko shot back. The comment came out sharp enough that Shinjiro nearly felt bad for joking. His list of things to thank Mitsuru for was getting uncomfortably long. “What the _hell_ were you thinking?”

Good question. And not an easy one to answer.

Circling around from the far side of his bedroom, he sat on the edge of his mattress for about the tenth time in less than two hours. Minako was still asleep. The artificial glow of streetlights and the occasional passing car reflected off of his window and painted her pale face with thick colored bars of light. It would still be a few hours until dawn. He hoped she would look a little healthier in the sunlight.

“I had an idea.” He tore his eyes away from the sick girl curled up in his bed, opting to stare at the ceiling instead. There were a few thin cracks in the plaster, reaching across the surface like delicate, but massive spiderwebs. “If it doesn’t work, I’ll bring her back to the hospital.”

Akihiko made a noise that sounded like the beginning syllable of protest, but went quiet instead. Whatever he had on his mind, he clearly needed a minute to wrestle with it.

“Fine,” he managed. It didn’t sound enthusiastic. “I trust you. Just be careful, alright?”

Calling that response unexpected would be an understatement. Shinjiro grimaced and shifted uncomfortably, passing the phone from one hand to the other. He waited for his friend to realize what he said was crazy, but no such revelation came.

“...Alright, good. That’s all you called about?”

“Of course not! You can take care of Minako, but I’m not finished talking!” Akihiko was riled up again already, and began shouting. There was a clumsy ‘thump’ on his end of the call, as if he slammed his fist on something solid in frustration. “With the Dark Hour back, Mitsuru had people look into some of the Kirijo Group’s old records. Things are _bad_ , Shinji.” He didn’t have to add that last part. Whenever new reports surfaced about the Kirijo Group’s past, it was never nice stuff.

“Quit yelling, you idiot.” Shinjiro leaned forward, running a hand through his hair. What was so important that he was being brought into the loop now? All that corporate bullshit was a mess he preferred to stay far away from, whenever possible. “Is it her granddad? What, experimenting on orphans wasn’t twisted enough for him?”

“Yeah, something like that.” He could practically hear Akihiko’s frown through the receiver. “A year or so after we graduated, Mitsuru gave the order to comb though Aigis’ memory. Considering she’s the one that fought Ryoji -- uh, Death, I mean, she wanted to make sure nothing else important fell through the cracks. The whole Group was disorganized as hell for a few months, so it got put on the backburner. Plus, Aigis had a lot of other missions outside the city until recently.”

Now Shinjiro was the one frowning.

“Sounds like someone finally started doing their damn job.” Something about this was making him uneasy, but he wasn’t willing to make assumptions. Shinjiro tapped his index finger against the side of his phone, as if it could find a hidden fast forward button for their conversation. No such luck. “When’d they finish? What’d they find?”

The line was silent for several seconds. If they were having this conversation in person, he probably would have grabbed Akihiko and started shaking him.  
  
“They’re not done yet, but something did come up. When Aigis had her fight on the Moonlight Bridge, she had a field test earlier that day with some new equipment. I guess the Kirijo Group tried to see how easily they could force persona awakenings in the hundred kids they got for their experiment. To them, it was safer to let a ‘machine’ test it out instead of risking the scientists working on the technology.”

A wave of anxiety overtook Shinjiro like crashing water. Using children as convenient lab rats was enough to make him sick, but what did this have to do with their current situation? Akihiko paused, waiting to see if the other man had anything to say yet. When there was only more silence, he continued.

“Their research got far enough that they saw the link between Personas and Shadows, so it looked like they were interested in harvesting powerful shadows instead of destroying them. The night Aigis fought Death and couldn’t defeat it… that was how Ryoji ended up inside Minato. All the damage to the bridge caused a huge car crash, and his parents died. He was the only living person left for miles.”

For some reason, it only then dawned on Shinjiro that he was also hearing what happened to Minako when she was a kid. He knew a few spotty details about her past, but never got the full report in such a clinical fashion.

“...Shinji? You still there?”

He blinked slowly, once or twice, then threw a quick glance over toward Minako. It felt wrong to hear about this while she was right beside him. He wished they could stop, but that wasn’t an option. He needed more information about the things she didn’t like to bring up willingly.

“Yeah, I’m here. Just get to the point,” he replied flatly. There was a slow inhale from the other end of the phone. It probably wasn’t easy for him to talk about, just like it wasn’t particularly easy to listen to.

“They reviewed the data from the fight, but something came back weird. The scientists tried to scrub bits and pieces from her memory since they could be held accountable for what happened to Minato’s family.” He slowed down the explanation, as if having trouble believing his own story. “But… they were able to recover some of the parts that got erased. Aigis registered two different versions of her fight with Ryoji. They had the same exact timestamps, but she clearly remembered seeing two completely different kids that night.”

Shinjiro abruptly got to his feet, alarmed and stuttering slightly. So many questions began filling his head that they were tripping over each other on the way to his mouth. He felt simultaneously vindicated and horrified.

“...How’s that possible?” He ran a hand through his hair again, narrowly resisting the urge to pull it out at the root. Trying to keep calm was so much effort that he was getting lightheaded. “Could she tell you guys anything about what she saw, at least?”

“It’s only her ‘brain’ telling us this. Aigis has to stay in standby mode while the analysis is happening, and they were still piecing everything together when Mitsuru got the news yesterday,” Akihiko admitted, sounding similarly at a loss. “We just know one kid is Minato and one isn’t. I don’t want to throw out crazy conspiracy theories here, but…”

“Don’t,” he said, cutting his friend short. “Nothin’ good will come out of us playing detective right now. Get some sleep, I gotta keep an eye on Minako.”

Lucky for him, Akihiko seemed to have exhausted any of his contrarian tendencies earlier in the conversation. They left their speculation unsaid and said their goodnights. It was probably for the best. It wouldn’t take long for the other members of SEES to guess who the other person Aigis saw was, but they still weren’t even close to explaining the _why_ of it all.

Still, he wasn’t crazy. That was reassuring, even if complicated things even more. Aigis was more or less a robot. A nice-enough, weirdo kind of a robot, but her memory could be trusted. Who was to say Minako’s other friends wouldn’t remember her too, if they finally got to meet her? It was a start.

All of the unknown variables scared the shit out of him and all, but he’d manage. He didn’t really have a choice.

_It didn’t feel right to sleep next to her, so the floor was his next-best option. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but his chances of having a pleasant night’s rest were slim to none regardless. The carpeted floor was completely horizontal and mostly clean. With those characteristics, it would suit his needs._

_At the very least, Minako deserved to be warm and comfortable when she woke up. She needed the bed more than he did._

“...”

If it weren’t for the sunlight pouring through the window, uncomfortably concentrated near his face, Shinjiro might have thought he was was still asleep. His eyes struggled to open, still weighed down by the events of the previous two nights. He shut them tight for a few more moments.

“Still waking up?”

His hands clambered stupidly at his sides, trying to find a piece of the floor that he could push off of to sit up and get a better view of the bed. When he finally did, it was like falling into a massive pool of pleasantly cold water. She was visibly exhausted and hadn’t moved from where he laid her down, but Minako was looking at him with some amount of amusement in her smile.

“I said ‘your room is nice’, but I guess you didn’t hear me.” Her eyes traveled around the space, absorbing every square foot of new visual information. He had to hand it to her; Minako was calm as hell for someone that woke up in an unfamiliar bed after nearly dying for a second time. “You actually decorated it. Your room at the dorm wasn’t like this.”

Shinjiro scrambled to his feet to sit on the edge of the bed once more, reaching out before quickly thinking better of it. His hand hovered in the space between them, eyes darting back and forth from her face to his outstretched fingertips. He had absolutely no idea what to do.

“...I wasn’t asleep _that_ long, right?” Her brow furrowed, slightly thrown by the lack of a response to her attempts at casual chitchat. To be fair, he would have loved to respond. The problem was that his brain didn’t seem interested in cooperating with his mouth. “You have a scary look on your face. Are you okay?”

He couldn’t help but laugh despite his anxiety over the situation. The hand floating between them finally made up its mind, gently touching her forehead. It retreated back to his side a moment later. She was a little warm, but nothing to fuss over yet.

“I should be askin’ you that,” he told her. The dryness in his throat was worse than usual. Not drinking any water for several hours would do that, he supposed. “You’ve been out for a day or so. The shadow we fought got you in the stomach, so don’t get up and start doing jumping jacks if you can help it.” Her smile grew, and his insides flooded with relieved warmth.

“No promises.”

It took some effort, but Minako sat up and leaned her back against the bed’s flimsy headboard. She pressed both hands below her collar bones, chest heaving gently as she took a slow, deep breath.

For the second time since they met, Shinjiro wondered if the sensation of being alive was more remarkable to her than a regular person. If he could remember his own death, maybe he would breathe like that too.

“You feelin’ a little better now?” Their eyes met, and she seemed somewhat uncertain. As though she really wanted to be sure of her answer before giving one. He prodded a little more, hoping it would help her along. “Everyone was worried.”

“Physically, I think so. Anything is better than being dead, right?” That response didn’t do much to alleviate his concerns, and it _certainly_ wasn’t typical of Minako give such tepid responses to a question.

“Then, mentally… not so great?” Her gaze flickered, moving somewhere past him. She shrugged. Her absent smile never budged an inch, but it was starting to look like a defense mechanism rather than a genuine expression of contentment. As usual, she was determined not to make him worry. “Well, I’m here if you wanna talk about it. You’re not gonna do this alone again.”

“What if I don’t want to talk about it?” Minako cupped her chin in her hands, some of her forced serenity finally peeling away. There was nothing argumentative in her voice, despite the topic. Just honest inquiry. “‘If’ makes it sound like I have a choice. Do I?”

“I doubt I could ever force you to do somethin’ if you didn’t want to. But if it matters, _I_ want us to talk. We can’t find out how to fix all this shit if we don’t.”

She let out a contemplative hum, seeming to wrestle with her lack of eagerness. Shinjiro thought it would take her longer to make a decision, but it didn’t. Several seconds later, she spoke again.

“...Okay. Where should I start?”

If Minako thought he was capable of fixing anything about her, he couldn’t tell for sure. Allowing him to try was an absolute mercy either way. He appreciated even that tiny amount of confidence. Hopefully she was ready for rudimentary questions, because they had to start from the beginning.

“Having something inside you like… that thing, Thanatos. What does that do to you? I can’t wrap my mind around how any of it works, or how it feels.”

“It feels… like last time, sort of. While I was asleep, I could tell something was wrong. I tried to wake up, but I couldn’t.” She looked at him, then down at the sheets. Hopefully this would be the conversational equivalent of ripping off a bandaid. “Thanatos was… scratching at my insides, begging to be let out, even if it hurt me. That only happened once before, right when I moved into the dorm.”

Minako told him about the first unofficial ‘Full Moon Mission’ that Aki’d mentioned the night before. After being shaken awake with no explanation as to why, she and Takeba had gotten cornered on the roof. Despite her confusion and horror, she felt hopelessly compelled to grab an evoker and aim it at her own head. Through sheer determination alone, her newly awakened persona pushed back against the attacking shadows swarming the dorm. She didn’t want to die, and that was enough to set things in motion.

“It’s a little hazy, but I remember feeling like my head was going to split open.” She winced slightly, fingers migrating up to gently touch her temples. As if the memory alone made her want to check that her skull was still, in fact, in one piece. “I didn’t know what it was then, but Thanatos climbed out from inside Orpheus and… broke her into pieces. He lashed out at the shadow attacking us and tore it apart. He wouldn’t stop screaming.”

Shinjiro grit his teeth. He had plenty of reasons to dislike his teenage self, but more kept emerging lately. Nearly every member of SEES knew this stuff already, no doubt, and he was hearing it for the first time. If he wasn’t so damn concerned with his own problems, maybe he would have asked about these things. Hopefully he could make up for some of his self-imposed ignorance.

“I woke up a week later, and completely forgot anything weird even happened. Nothing felt ‘wrong’, and Thanatos didn’t come back on his own.” Minako sighed, hands dropping back down to her sides. “After Ryoji left, he should have been gone for good.”

“Yeah, but he’s not,” he cut in, well aware of the bitterness in his voice. He grabbed a fistful of his bedsheets, hardly surprised to find himself feeling frustrated and agonizingly unable to help in the slightest. “What’s that mean, with everything else you guys did? Maybe SEES didn’t fix shit. Nyx might come back whenever she feels like it.”

“I don’t think so. I mean, I don’t have proof, but…” Minako trailed off for a moment. In the quiet preceding an explanation, she laid her hand softly on top of his balled up fist. “There are two souls that could, theoretically, be sealing Nyx away. Mine or, um, Minato-kun’s. One of us is probably there at any given time, wherever ‘there’ is.”

A pang of regret shot through Shinjiro’s middle. Neither of them knew what was going on, but she had significantly more context and vocabulary for their situation. Complaining and throwing out cynical guesses for future catastrophes wasn’t helping.

“...Sorry. I should get you somethin’ to eat.” He started getting to his feet, but was caught by the wrist and tugged backwards. Minako looked so irritated that it caught him off caught.

“No way. I saw you sleeping on the floor, Shinji. I won’t starve if you take a break, okay?” She scooted to the side, making room on the bed. Part of Shinjiro told him to fight tooth and nail not to give up his self-appointed caretaker role, but the space beside her seemed so warm and inviting that it might as well have been someone else’s bed. “Sleep for a little while. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

He slowly (though not reluctantly) settled back down and laid beside her. As if were the most natural thing in the world, Minako pressed herself snug to his side. He put an arm around her, allowing them both a moment of peace and quiet.

“...Think about what you want to eat. The store’s right around the corner, so I can cook anything.” She let out a small laugh, as if trying to plan meals wasn’t really ‘taking a break’. He liked doing it, though, so he wouldn’t let her argue. “Somethin’ light would be best, at least to start with.”

It was one thing to recover from a nasty fight, or even have Death inside you. Shinjiro couldn’t say for sure how quickly she’d recover under normal circumstances, but there were still the suppressors. She’d be nauseated and dizzy soon, and her body temperature would gradually drop the longer she had to take them. They could discuss it once she had a little more time to adjust to things.

And, in the meantime, he could plan to make a few different kinds of soup to keep her warm when she needed it.

Minako leaned her head on his chest, eyes blissfully shut again. Her ear was pressed against him. It looked like she was enjoying the sound and feeling of how alive _he_ was now, and Shinjiro found himself able to focus on how she felt in return. Warm and full of life. Like she was able to naturally fill in all of the cracks that nearly made him crumble as a young man. He wondered, not for the first time, what she could possibly be getting out of him in return.

“I almost feel like… nothing bad will actually happen. You’re good at making me feel that way, even when it’s not true.”

If only he was the kind of person that could assure her nothing bad _would_ happen. But he was too honest, and she knew it. They had no idea if a happy ending was waiting for them. It didn’t work out the last time around, but he couldn’t afford to be pessimistic when it was her life hanging in the balance. Her flesh and blood belonged to her. Thanatos didn’t subtract parts of her and substitute them with parts of himself.

He felt stupid for ever thinking their time together was worth less because of something Minako didn’t ask for, or have any control over.

“I love you, Minako…”

His eyes felt heavy, but he wanted to push the words out while they were still welling up in his throat. He never got a chance to say it before. Knowing they didn’t have much time together to begin with, he couldn’t bring himself to give her another reason to cry after he was gone. He didn’t care anymore.

She turned onto her side, draping an arm across his middle. Just like she said; for the time being, everything felt like it would be alright.

“I love you, Shinji.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah, I'm back!! Sorry this took so long, but I had to throw in a LOT of exposition and kept fiddling with things to keep it from sounding TOO much like a shameless info dump. Hopefully it turned out alright! I felt like the vagueness in the last chapter might have been confusing if you haven't played the game recently, so I wanted to be clearer as more important information comes out.
> 
> (Also ngl I edited in a hurry to get this out ASAP so big apologies for anything I missed!)
> 
> Also also, hope you enjoyed the little bit of fluff! It's going to be rare in this fic, so hold onto it and never let go.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter contains a few brief situations that involve descriptions of consensual injury and suicidal thoughts that could be upsetting. Please use your own discretion when reading and skip a paragraph or two if you need to.

_ Mitsuru was onto them, and he knew it. It was both a new source of anxiety and a huge relief. There was no reason to keep Minako a secret besides the fact that her existence was impossible to explain, but he couldn’t protect her forever if she was intent on saving the city again. _

_ And she was  _ **_intent_ ** _ , to put it lightly. _

_ The Kirijo Group had arranged a debriefing to help Aigis organize the discrepancies in her memories from a few years ago. It was as good a time as any to formally introduce Minako to a few more former members of SEES. _

_ Like it or not, they’d all be ready when the time came _

He was standing in Escapade, but it looked different. Nicer than it ever had before. He could spend minutes or hours wondering what prompted the dramatic change, but found the prospect unworthy of his time. Asking questions felt like too much effort when his senses were being overloaded with unfamiliar sights and sounds.

The whole space was illuminated with low, romantic lights, and the soft swell of jazzy music mixed perfectly with the casual conversation of guests lining the bar and dance floor. When Shinjiro looked at his hands, he could see a stiff white shirt poking out from under the dark gray suit jacket he had on.

He also was wearing fancy silver cufflinks.  _ That _  was definitely new.

Another set of fingers laced smoothly between his own. Minako stood close to his chest, looking up at him with a fond smile. Her face was framed by a few thin curls of auburn, all parts of an intricate updo that made her look disarmingly mature and elegant. She was wearing a gown of flowing red satin that left the majority of her back exposed.

She didn’t have any scratches or burns or bruises that he could see. Every inch of her skin seemed to glow with the warmth of a person that was truly alive and well. She looked healthy, and he suddenly felt like crying.

“You’re making a funny face,” she told him, glancing down at the crimson carpet at the edge of the spacious club. “That either means I look really good or really bad. Which is it?”

Shinjiro cupped her face and leaned down slightly, intent to soak in every last detail of the image in front of him. All he could do was laugh. It was hollow and hurt something deep inside his chest, but it was genuine.

“You know when a guy in a movie sees a girl dressed up, and he ends up speechless? I always thought it was bullshit until now.” He ran the side of his thumb across her cheek, admiring the touch of pink that kissed her skin. Vitality looked better on her than the dress did, and the dress looked  _ exceptional _ . “You’re beautiful. I’ll say it more often from now on so you don’t have to wonder if you look good or not.”

She beamed at him. “You look good too, Shinji. It’s not your usual style, but I mean it! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without hair in your eyes.”

Withdrawing a hand, his fingers ghosted over his own tidy hair. His bangs were pulled back and his usually tangled mane was combed neater that it had probably ever been in his whole life. However they viewed themselves in day-to-day life, right now they both looked somewhat like respectable adults. It was an odd feeling, but they weren’t in high school anymore. Maybe maturity was a byproduct of being hopelessly in love.

While Shinjiro’s mind wandered, Minako gave his arm an eager tug. He came back to reality, and she shot him an expectant look accompanied by another smile. It was playful and carefree, like it always used to be.

“Well, come on! We’re all dressed up, aren’t we? It would be silly not to dance for a while.”

He opened his mouth and closed it again just as quickly. The number of mundane worries he had these days were pretty few and far between, but dancing was… asking  _ a lot. _  His poor posture and the lumbering way he swung an axe were exactly indicative of how coordinated he was -- meaning, not very.

“...I ain’t sure that’s the best idea,” he protested, eyes drawn to the other handful of couples swaying easily to the music. Even the most subtle movements looked daunting from his perspective. “I’ll feel bad if I step all over your toes. I’m useless at this sort of thing, trust me.”

For some reason, Minako looked unconvinced. She only laughed and continued pulling him toward the center of the room.

“Trust  _ me. _  You can dance.”

It was a short trek to the dance floor, and Shinjiro’s nerves were on fire up until the moment he rested a hand on Minako’s hip and clasped her hand with his other. His uncertainty melted away as they began stepping in time to the music. It slowed to a pace that he could keep up with, and moving as a unit was easier than he expected.

His eyes wandered around the space for a few moments, awestruck by the shine in the decorations and furniture. When they finally landed back on Minako, he wasn’t sure why he even looked away in the first place.

Everything about her emitted tenderness he found difficult to describe fully. She wore her kindness like a halo. It was impossible to tell if he felt immensely lucky or entirely undeserving to love her and be loved by her in return.

They didn’t dance for very long. Even so, he didn’t care if he looked even remotely competent while guiding her across the shiny tile floor. He used the close quarters to his advantage, whispering in her ear while his heart pounded demandingly against his ribcage.

There was so much to say, and he wanted to say all of it. It was amazing that the words didn’t trip over each other on their way out of his mouth. He had so much that he wanted to pour into her. He almost cracked under the weight of his emotions, but he couldn’t stop.

Laughing softly, her slender finger pressed against his bottom lip. He could go mute for her.

She pushed up onto her tiptoes and he felt her breath against his upper jaw. There was an empty room in the club with low lights and a door that locked from the inside. She could take him there, if he wanted some privacy.

Well, when she put it that way, he replied. How could he refuse?

Shinjiro flopped down onto a large armchair, upholstered in cotton velvet that was the same vibrant red that nearly everything else in the club had also become. Minako was soon on top of him, hands anchored on the back of the chair as her lips covered his own. He ran his hands down her sides as she straddled his lap, blanketing him in a heat he’d never take for granted again.

The hem of her skirt pooled around her knees, making it easy to slip a hand under to tightly grip the back of her thigh. Their teeth bumped together slightly as she smiled into their hot, hasty kiss, and he could taste her laughter in his mouth..

Minako cupped his jaw, panting softly as her fingers ran down the muscles in his neck. In one single, smooth movement, her slender hands closed around his throat the best they could manage.

She squeezed. His breath hitched badly.

“Minako…” Shinjiro began to reach for her small wrists, but something made him stop. Any instincts of self-preservation he might have had a moment ago vanished, and all he felt was a deep understanding that this was something he wanted.

Her eyes were still filled with passion. As if, in her mind, they were loosening the fussiest parts of their clothing and quietly reaffirming their love for each other. Her long nails pressed against his skin and pushed and pushed and pushed until he felt a sickly snap and they sank down into him.

Was his blood as red as she was? He hoped so. The idea of staining her dress too badly made him feel terrible.

“How could you…” His eyes were having trouble focusing, but Minako’s grip tightened as tears streaked down her face along with lines of dark mascara. The warmth was gone from her expression, replaced with boundless grief and agony. He wanted to fix it, but he couldn’t. “How could you let me do this..? Shinji, I never wanted to hurt you..!”

There was no way to answer her. Even if her body wasn’t so determined to tear out his throat until it looked like a bouquet of red ribbons, he had no justification that wouldn’t hurt her more than silence.

His jaw hung slack. He stared straight back at her, thinking ‘It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.’

Sobs wracked her body as her eyes squeezed shut, but the pain still felt like being kissed. The room was getting darker, and he could barely make out the silhouettes of people surrounding them. Apathetic observers to the horrors he voluntarily subjected himself to out of weakness and sadness and overwhelming emotion.

Minako’s nails pulled back sharply, taking an impossible amount of flesh and blood with them.

**_“Why do you want to die so badly…?!”_ **

Elsewhere, Shinjiro felt his eyes snap open. He jerked awake, struck by the cold sweat that was making his shirt cling to his chest. Glancing to his immediate right, Minako was still sleeping peacefully against him. In the low light of his bedroom, it was clear that their joint nap ended up being longer than expected.

He felt a shaky sigh rattle through the parts of his anatomy that still felt like they were torn and bleeding.

If he was going to be any help at all, he really needed to quit enjoying his nightmares so much.

_ “Everyone is going to find out tonight.” _

_ Even with a cheerful pink scarf wrapped up so high it covered her mouth, Minako looked visibly fatigued. She’d covered up the circles under her eyes the best she could, but he could make them out in the harsh streetlight. They had a ways to walk before they got to Mitsuru’s place. _

_ “Probably, yeah,” he replied easily. “It’s alright if you’re worried, y’know. But it’ll be fine, I promise.” _

_ She nodded, eyes cast downward. _

_ Instead of offering any more useless assurances, he ran a hand anxiously across his throat. It was still intact, for now. _

“Shinjiro, Shiomi.”

Mitsuru’s eyes lingered on the pair of them as they stepped into her apartment for the second time in less than 30 days. It didn’t feel great, but there were still about two weeks until the next full moon. It would probably feel worse then, so Shinjiro decided to be grateful rather than apprehensive.

Yukari and Minako traded quiet, uncertain hellos and expressed mutual relief that everyone was doing alright. Shinjiro led himself down the hallway and toward the living room. He wanted to see how many more players they were dealing with now. Aki never saw fit to bother him with petty details when it came to any of this stuff. He’d show up if they asked, and they counted on that fact.

He rounded the corner. Before he had a chance to react, something large and white knocked him back through the doorway and into the hall again. His back hit the wall at an odd angle, sending an uncomfortable wave up pain up his spine.

“Sh-Shit, you’re fast,” he muttered between grit teeth. “How does an old man like you still got so much energy, huh?”

Koromaru’s small red eyes glittered as he pawed at Shinjiro’s thighs, letting out a self-satisfied ‘ **boof** ’. He gave his head a vigorous rub with both hands, allowing himself to smile down at the welcome sight. He always liked dogs. They were simple in a way he often envied, and it felt nice to be remembered.

“Come on, leave Shinjiro-san alone.”

When he looked up, a tall, slender boy with sandy hair was bent over slightly, attempting to heel the overly excited shiba. It took Shinjiro several long seconds to realize who he was looking at.

“We’re here for a serious meeting, Koromaru.” An embarrassed frown pulled at Ken Amada’s lips as he spoke down at the dog. He was still a kid trying too hard to act mature, but it was nice to see he had a friend at his side. “If you can’t be professional, can’t you at least be a good boy?”

Koromaru reluctantly returned all four paws the the floor, tongue flopped out joyously as he looked back at the middle schooler. His expression said, ‘no promises, but I’ll try.’

“It’s been a while.” Shinjiro wasn’t sure where to start, exactly, but that seemed alright.

Showing only the slightest hesitation, Ken met his eye and offered a small nod. Neither of them could quite decide how to feel about this reunion, which was almost comforting. Back in the dorm, he always looked wound too tightly and moments away from crying. That clearly wasn’t the case anymore and Shinjiro was satisfied with that.

“Akihiko-san told us you’ve been doing well,” he managed, putting in that same amount of effort as always to make every syllable sound polite. “I was glad to hear that.”

He nodded in response, then quickly found himself without anything else significant to mention. An awkward beat or two passed before the girls all caught up to the group forming in the hall. As if sensing the tension, Yukari did her best to change the subject.

“We’re almost ready to start, Ken-kun. You haven’t met Minako-chan yet, right?” She smiled and gestured toward the other girl. Crimson eyes briefly flicked in Shinjiro’s direction before Minako gave a timid bow and offered yet another tired greeting. “She’s a persona-user Shinjiro-senpai introduced us to. Be nice to her, okay? She’s still new to all of this.”

It should have been an easy introduction to break the ice, but no words came out when Ken opened his mouth. Unable to respond, his bottom lip trembled for a moment. Soon he was looking directly down at his white tennis shoes, a deep pink blush creeping across the bridge of his nose.

“Ooh, did I hear that right, Yuka-tan? The rising star of the new and improved SEES is finally here, in the flesh?”

Shinjiro heard Mitsuru audibly scoff behind them as another familiar person stuck their head through the doorway. There was significantly less space than there had been a minute ago, given that no one seemed to want to stay put. They only saw Junpei for a second before Yukari groaned and began pushing through the small crowd, urging everyone backwards.

“Come  _ on _ , just sit and wait like we told you to!” The group slowly funneled into the living room as originally intended. Koromaru walked in jaunty, tight circles around Minako’s legs while Shinjiro kept an arm securely around her shoulders. He expected things would get out of hand quickly, but this was stupid. “Akihiko-senpai and Aigis know how to behave themselves in some else’s house, Junpei! Can’t you at least  _ pretend _  to have manners?”

“Who cares about manners at a time like this?” He shot back, practically grinning from ear to ear as his former classmate shoved him onto a chair at the side of the room. The way he casually adjusted his worn out baseball cap as he spoke made it clear that he paid Yukari’s pushiness no mind at all. “Even Aigis is excited! Did you know she gets chatty when she’s nervous? Man, technology is amazing.”

As the group dispersed to different parts of the room, Shinjiro let himself sigh. Minako was already under enough pressure. She didn’t need a gaggle of idiots invading her personal space when she wasn’t feeling well.

Idling by the doorway, a hand clapped down on his shoulder. Akihiko hadn’t announced himself in the same bombastic way the others had, and it didn’t seem like he would get the chance. Shinjiro felt himself start to make some kind of quip about how everyone in the room was  _ still _  acting like kids, but his friend looked past him and bent down slightly.

“H-Hey, Minako, are you alright? You look like you’re gonna be sick…”

She’d been so quiet, he almost forgot his arm was around her. Her footing became sloppy for a moment, and it seemed like she had to lean heavily against him to keep upright. Shinjiro pulled her scarf away from her face and could immediately see what Akihiko was talking about.

Her skin was clammy and unnaturally pale, with only a feverish redness running from her collarbone to just beneath her jaw. Minako’s gaze was aimed pointedly toward a fixed location in the room. Despite their usual light and warmth, her eyes looked sad and hollow. Like it was hard to look at the people gathered around and hear their animated, friendly conversation.

“She’s… fine.” Shinjiro knew that wouldn’t be enough, but he couldn’t figure out what to do next. Maybe this was too much too soon. He was struck by an urge to save her somehow. To pick her up and carry her away from the things that were upsetting her. If only he could.

“I was right. It really is you.”

A new voice carried through the uneasy quiet that fell over the room. She was slow and careful in her approach, but Aigis’ vivid blue eyes were clearly fixed on Minako along with everyone else’s. Despite everything that was happening, Shinjiro was struck by her appearance. Aigis looked exactly the same as she ever had. Her presence made the entire scene feel like a moment out of time.

He was getting sick of being pulled back into the past.

As if waiting for a cue, Mitsuru took her place beside Aigis. The look on her face all but confirmed that the charade was, more or less, up.

“Minako was the young girl you sealed Death into, wasn’t she, Aigis?”

It came out so matter-of-factly that Shinjiro practically felt Minako get smaller in his arms. He let go of her, but kept close just in case her balance failed again. There was no shielding her from Mitsuru’s deductions. This needed to happen for things to turn out okay.

“She lived in our dormitory and awakened to her persona on the full moon in April, protecting Yukari from the shadow that injured Akihiko.” The other members of SEES began to protest the redhead’s logic, but she pressed on with her theory. “Demonstrating a mastery of her powers by utilizing multiple personas, she was nominated to lead our expeditions in Tartarus. Respecting our wishes to fight until the bitter end, she gave everything she had to stop Nyx from destroying the world as we know it. She died before our very eyes on graduation day.”

An oppressive silence blanketed the room, and Shinjiro felt like choking. He could only image how Minako felt. She hung her head, unwilling to let even the smallest sniffle out. Her fists balled up, flexed open, then closed tightly again. They knew how this story ended, but he mentally urged to remember that she was alive. Alive and warm and  _ here again _ .

“Minako Arisato.”

This time it was Aigis that spoke up, closing the distance between herself and Minako. Shinjiro watched the blonde carefully embrace her friend. Maybe it was his imagination, but for a second it looked like she was crying.

“I do not understand what happened or why you are here,” she continued. On the side, Yukari had moved to stand next to Mitsuru. The two girls didn’t say any more. They simply held onto each other and let Aigis speak. “But, I am glad you are alive. I have missed you so much…!”

In one swift movement, Minako threw her own arms around Aigis’ middle. She buried her face in her friend’s chest and let herself sob, deeply and openly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW SORRY THAT TOOK SO LONG (and also maybe sorry for this chapter? confession: i've been listening to death of a bachelor a lot and that's all i'm going to say)
> 
> but hey look, we're getting somewhere! i don't want to write any more scenes with 8 characters and 1 sassy dog ever again!!!!
> 
> hope you enjoyed the mix of good and bad vibes this time around
> 
> update 1-12: fancy meeting you here! i finished chapter 1 of XXII: Star so I'll get back to Moon now, as promised! 
> 
> big update: expect something ~like~ a chapter 8.5 (actually chapter 9, but, semantics) next with a few tiny minako/sees members vignettes that i feel are really important for bringing perspective to everything that's happened so far. it would feel weird to go back to shinji's kind of tunnel vision perspective on things without diving in on how everyone else feels about what happened in chapter 8 too, especially minako! this is basically halfway done, so watch for it this month or in early feb!!
> 
> more big news: i wrote a rough version of the final outline and i think, without changes, chapter 12 will be the last one! we're closer than i thought!! aaaah!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been over a year since I started this fic. Yikes! Thanks for sticking with me.

**_Minako was used to having strange dreams. In her previous life, there was always something comforting about the nights when Pharos visited her. He was cryptic and a little scary, sure, but his voice was soothing. It was coming from inside her. It belonged there, just like Ryoji and Thanatos did at some point._ **

**_In her current life, she had nightmares that felt too real to be the product of an overactive imagination. The faces of people she’d forgotten and was once so desperate to save. Being pulled up from the ground to confront something horrible and twisted by herself, then dying not long after. Those memories felt particularly strange. Filled with sadness, but never regret._ **

**_Of course, she would have preferred to live. But she didn’t have a choice that time around. Would this time be different? As much as she tried to push those lingering doubts away, something else inside of her wasn’t happy with that. It didn’t like being ignored._ **

**_It looked a little bit like her old classroom, but all wrong. There were no walls. The floor and ceiling extended too far off into the distance for her to see where they ended, and the light from the slowly setting sun was still bright enough to hurt her eyes. There were only two desks in the room, and she knew one of them was her’s. Every few seconds, the environment would cut in and out like static, showing a perfect reflection on the ceiling before disappearing again._ **

**_If this was a nightmare, it wasn’t so bad. She missed this place more than anything in the world._ **

**_“...It’s you.”_ **

**_The voice was so soft that Minako almost missed it entirely. A sudden gust of angry wind rattled the few pieces of furniture, even Ms. Toriumi’s desk, but didn’t displace them. It made the pleats of her uniform skirt ripple loudly, and pushed the long hair out from the eyes of the other person in the bizarre room. Somehow, she recognized him._ **

**_“Minato-kun…”_ **

**_They were equidistant from her desk, on opposite sides of the space. If he was surprised to see her, he gave no indication of it. The teenager’s own school uniform was disheveled and torn, and there were small wounds littering what she could see of his pale skin. She touched her bottom lip, realizing it was split open and bleeding. They both looked awful._ **

**_“I don’t understand…” She lifted her hands, palms flat to examine the angry, peeling skin. That would happen sometimes if she gripped her naginata too tight. It should have hurt terribly, but it didn’t. “Is this happening, or is it a memory? I don’t look like this anymore.”_ **

**_“That’s right. You were given a chance to live and grow even more beautiful, weren’t you? I’ve enjoyed watching it happen very much.”_ **

**_Yet another voice, and she recognized this one. A third figure had appeared by the remaining desk on the left side of the room, and a young, dark haired man was smiling warmly in her direction. Once again, Minato didn’t look surprised._ **

**_“Ryoji.”_ **

Aigis hardly blinked for their entire conversation. Her mouth was pressed into a flat, concerned line as she pushed and pulled at different parts of Minako like she was examining an incredibly realistic doll. As embarrassing as it was to be fussed over, it was different when it was Aigis. She had the infallible memory of a machine, and fell right back into their old routine faster than her other friends had.

“Your temperature is rapidly increasing and decreasing at a highly irregular rate, Minako-san.”

Her bright blue eyes flashed and flickered while a cool, sturdy hand pressed against Minako’s forehead. It’d been a few days since they met again, and a few members of SEES gathered to check on her condition once Shinjiro explained everything to them. It felt weird, but nice.

“I will ask if there is anything in the Kirijo Group’s records that can explain the side effects of the suppressors,” she continued, standing up straight before turning to look at Mitsuru. The redhead was hovering in the doorway, and her body language was awkward. It was probably taking her the most time to get used to the recent revelations than anyone else. “Mitsuru-san, may I also research alternatives for suppressing Thanatos via safer methods? I am worried about her.”

“Of course, Aigis.” She replied, giving a solemn sort-of nod as she finally moved further into the room. She stopped behind the couch Yukari was sitting in, hands fidgeting slightly near the hem of her long white blouse. “We’re all worried. I promise we’ll do everything we can to help Minako.”

Yukari leaned closer to where Minako was sitting in her own chair, arms stretching out over the thick, velveteen arm of the couch. Everything in their apartment was so pristine and rich in color. It felt warm and cold at the same time; not in a definitively good or bad way.

“You’ve been so quiet through all of this. I hope we’re not being too pushy, Minako-chan,” she said, a concerned pout pulling at her bottom lip. Yukari was always quick to defend her when they were in school, too. “You can tell us if you need a break, okay? Even if it’s doing something fun for a change. We can go shopping together if you want!”

Minako couldn’t help but smile weerily at her friend. That would probably require a lot more energy than she had, but it sounded nice. It was difficult not to wish that it would really happen, even if it wasn’t particularly realistic.

“Can we go to the sweets shop?” She asked. The frequent dizzy spells and occasional coughing fits kept her permanently winded and more or less useless, but even playing along was fun in its own way. “Shinji cooks for me all the time, but he won’t bake me a cake no matter how many times I ask. Don’t you think it’s the least he could do?”

“He _could have_ alerted us to your circumstances much sooner.” Mitsuru was trying not to sound bitter, but it wasn’t working. Still, she sighed and shook her head. “I realize there’s no point in complaining about it now, but Shinjiro still hasn’t learned how to rely on us. Being protective of someone you care for isn’t always a universally good decision.”

Maybe she was right. Thinking that way didn’t seem productive, though.

“Come on, he deserves a little more credit than that.” Twisting back to refute her girlfriend’s comments, Yukari was the first one on the defense. “The only reason we know for sure what’s going on is because Aigis was able to show us. Shinjiro-senpai knew something was wrong before anyone else. Can you blame him for wanting to be careful?”

Mitsuru shuffled uncomfortably for a moment, silent.

“No, I can’t.”

Then they were all quiet for a while longer. It fell to Minako to flash a big smile for all of her friends, lightly clapping her hands a few times. Feeling bad about the situation really wasn’t helping anyone, least of all herself and Shinji.

“Don’t you think we all worry too much? This isn’t nearly as bad as all the other stuff we’ve been through together.” When she met Aigis’ eyes, she smiled back brightly. It was so genuine; so incredibly human. Minako hoped she could smile like that again soon. “It’s weirder, maybe. But it’s not on the same level as the end of the world.”

All at once, she could feel the gazes on her drop down to the floor. Everyone was quiet again, and it wasn’t until Yukari spoke up that she understood why.

“I wonder…” She began. The temperature in the room changed so quickly. “If Minato-kun is out there somewhere too. Without his memories.”

Minako felt something stab hard into her chest and twist. Her clasped hands fell down to her lap and she bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. Nothing made you go cold and empty quite like wondering if you’d accidentally stolen someone else’s life.

Mitsuru said she didn’t know, and they eventually moved onto a new topic. The night ended when Shinjiro came to pick her up. They hugged and said their goodbyes, promising another meeting before the next full moon.

There, everyone agreed that Minako wasn’t in good enough shape to lead the mission. Fuuka even made time between keeping up with her college classes to attend a full debriefing from the Kirijo Group and help formulate their new plan of attack. (It was tough not to be a little jealous; Minako missed her classmates.) With all of Japan’s best technology and minds at their disposal, more theories on the return of the Dark Hour surfaced by the day.

What they couldn’t confirm was the theory of time itself splitting on the night Minako’s original parents died. She took some time on a pretty regular basis now to be thankful that they were safe at home and completely unaware of her problems.

But reports from the fight on top of the dorm _did_ tell them more about what kind of shadow they would be facing next, and where it would be waiting for them.

The previous shadow was an amalgamation of nearly half of the shadows they fought during previous Full Moon Missions. Knowing that, they could at least narrow down the location of the next one to a handful of locations within the city. If they were willing to believe that the Dark Hour had a sense of significance, Fuuka had said, they could narrow down the options even further. It would probably be somewhere they’ve already been.

Before the conversation could even meander toward what that meant for how SEES would mobilize, Minako felt her mind begin to wander. What made the most sense, if she tried to think like the Dark Hour? She knew what fights had been the most significant to _her_ , but that wasn’t quite the same thing.

Shinjiro, who was sitting beside to her, leaned down to ask if she was alright. They were all seated at a long, clinical-looking table somewhere in the labyrinth-like headquarters that the Kirijo Group operated out of these days. They were holding hands under the table. His thumb was running gently across her knuckles, back and forth. She squeezed his hand and smiled, but didn’t feel like answering.

She lifted her free hand, index finger hovering by her lips to silently hush him.

“We’re supposed to be listening, Shinji,” she replied quietly.

Fuuka’s analysis proved to be a huge advantage on the night of the next Full Moon Mission. Mitsuru stayed behind to help monitor the battle once again, but they were determined not to repeat the previous month’s casualties. A larger team went in, and Minako got to experience what it felt like to wait on the sidelines for the first time in her life.

Mitsuru and Fuuka were good, though understandably tense company. She must have looked worried, because both girls took time during the night to give her small reassurances. Fuuka held her hand for a few brief seconds. Mitsuru laid a firm, comforting hand on her shoulder more than once. For some reason, it didn’t make her feel better. Or anything in particular.

But the mission was a hard fought success, so they had something to celebrate. Junpei insisted that he and Ken should take Minako out to do something fun since she had to sit out the battle. He suggested karaoke, but let himself be talked down to a stop at Chagall Cafe. Ken seemed particularly relieved.

“Man, you shoulda seen us! It was like we were in high school again, Minako-tan.” Junpei’s right eye was filled with burst capillaries. The skin around his eyelid and upper cheek were a blotchy shade of reddish purple, but that didn’t stop him from excitedly recounting the previous night’s events. “We still got it! Right, y’old man?”

Koromaru was sitting politely by their table at the cafe, completely unbothered by the worried look that their waitress kept shooting the odd little group. His tongue flopped out, and he looked kind of proud beneath the singed sections of his white fur. Junpei reached down and rubbed his head vigorously with one hand.

“I wish I could’ve been there,” Minako replied, trying to match even a fraction of her friend’s enthusiasm. Ken had barely spoken the whole day. Right now, he seemed completely absorbed in staring down his mug like it was the barrel of a gun. “But I’m mostly glad there weren’t any major injuries this time around. Ken-kun, does your arm feel alright?”

Their plates and cups all rattled on the surface of the table as Ken jumped, apparently not expecting that he would be lured into the conversation. He only made eye contact with her for a split second before looking away again.

“Y-Yes, I’m fine. The doctor thought it might be fractured, but I only twisted it.” Even when he finally spoke, it was quiet and pointed purposefully downward. “It was my own fault, anyway. I really apologize for making you worry, it won’t happen again.”

Junpei groaned, clearly not enjoying the way the mood had taken a sharp dive. Minako was getting used to it, but she still couldn’t help but appreciate the attempts at levity. Ken was still relatively young, after all. Maybe she felt more like a ghost to him than an old friend.

“Ken-kun, you’re gonna die of a heart attack before high school is over if you don’t lighten up a bit, y’know.” Koromaru circled around to the other side of the table as the two boys began to (reluctantly, on Ken’s side) bicker about their temperaments.

The shiba looked rough and battle-worn, but perfectly content to be spending time with people. Somehow, he was the easiest member of SEES for Minako to relate to lately. Maybe it was because he couldn’t talk, even if he wanted to. Koromaru laid his chin on top of her knee. He snuffled and his feet marched gleefully in place as she scratched behind his ears.

For once, the waking world wasn’t so bad again.

**_“Do you have to say that kind of stuff while I’m right here?” Minato continued before anyone else chimed in. She didn’t notice it before, but a shadow of irritation seemed to pass across his face for a split second. “Girls don’t like cheesy lines like that.”_ **

**_“Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you jealous, Minato-kun.” The comments bounced off of Ryoji as though he didn’t even realize they were meant to be critical. “I’m sure several years of maturity would be flattering on you as well, but we can discuss that next time. We don’t have long.”_ **

**_If this were real life, Minako may have felt faint just then. It was incredibly difficult to grasp what was happening and why, but that last comment wasn’t lost on her. Another gust of angry wind whipped through the classroom. The ceiling and floor burnt away like flashes of white hot static again before coming back together. She could smell smoke. Her eyes stung badly. This didn’t feel stable._ **

**_“Where are we?” She asked, in a voice that was a little less timid or polite than she’d gotten used to hearing from herself recently. “I don’t remember this happening, but… it’s real, isn’t it?”_ **

**_“For the three of us, I’m afraid this is very real,” Ryoji replied. His expression was more difficult place, now that they were getting back on-topic. Like he was enjoying himself, but also in quite a lot of pain. “The two of you, as you are now, are nearing the end of your battle with Nyx. You will both survive, but not for long.”_ **

**_“Don’t bother including anything we already know.”_ **

**_Even Minato was beginning to look impatient, but Minako was reeling from the pace of all the realizations hitting her at once. She suspected it for a while, but it was looking more and more likely by the second. Somewhere, in a different world, was Minato in college? Did he have friends and family that cared for him, even if some pieces were lost along the way?_ **

**_By existing, did she take that opportunity away from him?_ **

**_“I’m… I’m not dead.”_ **

**_Her throat burned. She felt like crying, but her body was too angry to even consider it. The wind in the classroom wouldn’t stop. It was making it harder to hear her voice, so she yelled. She would have yelled even if the room was silent._ **

**_“I’m alive! How am I supposed to know what’s real and what isn’t when I can feel my own pulse, or see myself bleed!?” She shut her eyes. It hurt to watch Minato watch her get so, so close to admitting that maybe she didn’t care if she accidentally took something that once belonged to him. The thought of what she could lose was too much to bear. “Haven’t I done enough to deserve this? Shinji and I… just want to fix things and live like normal people for once! Can’t we do that?”_ **

**_Even over all the noise, she heard something strange. When she finally opened her eyes again, Minato looked really, truly surprised for the first time._ **

**_“Shinjiro-san is alive too..?”_ **

**_But he didn’t get to finish. Ryoji gave a somewhat light hearted, though sympathetic sigh. He was going to get the final word on this. No matter how many other questions she had, Minako knew deep down that their time was up for now._ **

**_“Living… Is that what you call it, Minako-chan?” He seemed disappointed._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean to leave you guys hanging. Hopefully this highly dissociative chapter was worth the wait, haha.
> 
> UPDATE 6-30-18: EXPECT AN UPDATE IN JULY
> 
> I AM
> 
> SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY!!!!


	10. Chapter 10

_“What do you think ‘living’ is?”_

_Shinjiro was folding his laundry while Minako laid on her back across the width of his bed, her head hanging gently over the edge. Her latest fever was finally breaking, but he could still see a light flush creeping up as far as her hairline. She wasn’t allowed to help with chores in this state._

_“I dunno if I’m the right guy to ask that, considering I’ve never been any good at it,” he replied. She stretched her arms over her head, languidly combing her fingers through her freshly washed hair. “That’s a damn weird question, by the way.”_

_She frowned. Upside down, the expression looked strange. Like her usual, sunny smile, but lopsided and troubled._

_“Sorry, it’s been on my mind. I thought it would be easier than this to find an answer.”_

Shinjiro was beginning to really notice that he seemed to cycle through the same set patterns. When things were bleak for a while -- a _long_ while, usually -- they’d suddenly and inexplicably get better. He should really know better than to get excited, but he was bad at learning important lessons. That much had been clear basically his whole damn life.

Either way, the circles under her eyes were disappearing. The color was coming back to her cheeks. She looked healthy again, and that was something worth being happy about. Now she even insisted on helping him cook meals every night. He didn’t hate it in the slightest and he told her so as often as he could. (Albeit in slightly nicer terms.)

“I’m just relieved you don’t have to wait on me all the time anymore,” she mused aloud, shooting him a quick glance from over her cutting board. It was hidden behind several bowls of neatly chopped vegetables for the stew they were working on. She might have looked better, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still need to eat a well-balanced meal. Him too, he supposed.

“I dunno, there were times when I could’ve sworn you were enjoying it way too much.” He didn’t fight a smile when their eyes met, and she returned it gladly. It almost felt like they somehow cheated all of the tragedy from high school once again. Life felt normal, and for once he was glad to be living if it meant being with her. “You took the pill I left on the bedside table, right? I don’t want you gettin’ sick on me again now that you have to help out.”

The corner of her mouth twitched. For a second, it looked like she didn’t have the answer to that question. Maybe she was swallowing a laugh. That reasoning seemed all the more likely when she finally answered a short beat later.

“I did, just like every other time you ask! Jeez, you worry too much.” Minako put down her knife and lightly clapped her hands together, admiring the small, neat piles of potatoes before her. “All done! Mind if I ask you a favor? Don’t worry, I can talk and do the dishes at the same time.”

He nodded. “Sure, what’s up?”

“I feel a little bad leaving my parents in the dark for so long. We didn’t have much of a choice, but I’m sure they’re worried.” She gathered dishware as she spoke, and for the first time in a while, visible lines of concern cut across her face. “It would be nice to drop by, maybe. I could use another few changes of clothes if you’re planning on letting me stick around, at least!”

“Makes sense. If you’re feelin’ good enough to make the trip, go ahead. I’m sure they’d be glad to talk to you.” Shinjiro figured that was the end of the conversation. He hadn’t looked up, but the affirmative response he expected to hear didn’t come. The running sink water suddenly stopped.

When he lifted his head to see what was wrong, Minako was already staring him down with a vague sort of intensity. He realized that he clearly missed some kind of signal she’d sent out.

“Oh, come on… I’m glad you trust me to make the trip on my own, but I was asking you to come with me,” she told him, somewhat sternly. If her cheeks were tinted pink from bashfulness, it was nothing compared to the heat he suddenly felt rush to his ears. “It doesn’t have to be… weird, or anything. But I thought it would be nice if you met them!”

Shit. Shinjiro forced a cough to hide his discomfort and buy a second to organize his thoughts. Somehow, he’d taken it for granted that Minako wasn’t an orphan anymore. They had plenty of reasons not to think about the kind of things long-term couples do when they were in high school (namely because he never imagined them as ‘long-term’ anything, with the way his life was then), but she didn’t even _have_ parents then.

Whenever he dared to forget how strange and fucked up his life was, a reminder was never far behind.

“No, I mean. Yeah, that’d be nice.” He paused, surprising himself somewhat. By the looks of it, Minako also didn’t expect him to give up without a fight. “As long as your folks don’t mind you hangin’ around a dropout. Do I tell ‘em I’m an ex-delinquent before or after I say hello?”

Minako nearly choked on her laughter, hastily waving both hands in front of her to show her half-hearted disapproval.

“Y-You don’t have to mention that at all! It’s going to be quick, I promise. I’d much rather wait until we’re done fighting shadows again for them to get to know you.” Seeming satisfied, she went back to happily scrubbing the dishes. Between the conversation topic and the smell of home cooked food, Shinjiro felt sickeningly domestic at that moment. Yeah, he didn’t hate this either. “As far as they’re concerned, you’re my old senpai and I’m still studying like a good student. That’s fine for now!”

It went a lot faster than he expected, somehow. Traveling outside the city was a little bit of a hassle, but it really had been over a month since Minako started staying with him. The weather was getting warmer rapidly, and she couldn’t keep wearing his old t-shirts or buying new outfits forever.

Shinjiro had to admit, he was a little nervous. She might say this was a quick, informal thing, but he really wasn’t the kind of person parents like. He considered springing for a gift -- something small and inexpensive -- but that wouldn’t change his bad attitude or off-putting appearance. Better to not try at all. He’d rather focus on trying to keep his palms from getting so goddamn sweaty.

They crossed from a main road into an area with a small batch of aggressively normal-looking houses, and he was about to ask if they were close when Minako made a sharp turn. Her hand outstretched to open a gate that led directly to the door of the nearest home. She looked over his shoulder at him, and gave a reassuring wave with the hand holding her jingly keychain.

“That was pretty quick, right? Let’s go! No time to be nervous.”

Was she talking about him or her? Considering she’d suddenly stopped showing up to her college classes, he wasn’t the only one that had a good reason to be anxious.

The Kirijo Group was kind enough to tell the school that she was having family issues in order to explain her absences, but they didn’t exactly have anything to say to her parents. It’d probably be difficult to keep up the charade when she was so active in sports and popular with her classmates. Anyone’s folks would want to hear about what their star student has been up to.

He found a lot of parts of his girlfriend’s personality impossible to relate to, despite how much he cared for her. Being so damn good at the whole ‘school’ thing had always been one of the big ones. To him, it was mind-numbing at best and flat-out pointless at worst. How she managed all of it, he’d never understand.

They passed through to the front door. Minako took a quick breath, handled the lock, and let herself in. He was close behind her. Hopefully, close enough to be of some comfort.

“I’m home,” she called, shuffling to get both shoes off at the entranceway. He did the same, and watched her crane her neck to get a look down the unlit hallway. “Jeez, it’s so dark… Mom? Dad?” In the front room, there was a medium-sized picture hanging on the wall that Minako didn’t pay any mind. She’d probably seen it a hundred times before, but Shinjiro found himself eager to take a look.

It was framed oddly, in his opinion. Not that he knew anything about photography, but a beaming, younger Minako stood front-and-center on what must have been the day she graduated from Gekkoukan High. She stood low in the frame, looking just the way he’d remembered her until fairly recently. Her hair was only slightly longer. It made sense; this would have been exactly one year after she died on the roof.

Weird, though. Didn’t those kind of pictures usually have the whole family in them?

There was enough daylight coming in through the windows that he saw her reach for a switch on wall. There was a click and a pause. Nothing happened. He heard it click a few more times. Was the electricity out?

“Maybe they’re not home?” He added, well aware that this observation wasn’t exactly helpful. Something felt wrong. You don’t turn off the utilities for a trip to the store.

Minako’s mouth was set in a hard, bewildered line. They stepped further into the house, and she tried calling out to her parents again. When they moved into what looked like the living room, however, they stopped in their tracks. He could only guess that it might have been a living room at some point, at least, because there wasn’t a piece of furniture in sight.

The entire room was empty. So empty, if fact, that he got the distinct feeling all of the other rooms in the house would be empty too.

Minako stumbled backward, landing square against his front as her wide eyes took in the absolute nothingness in front of them. She was momentarily stunned, and he felt his chest tightening in painful sympathy. He gripped her shoulders, unable to come up with any words of encouragement.

“I don’t understand…” Her other hand was still holding the keys. She looked down to consider them, as if genuinely wondering if they were in the correct house. Whatever this place was supposed to look like, but this clearly wasn’t it. Even he could tell that much. “This is it. It is. Why is my house empty? Where are my mom and dad?”

Before he even said anything (what would he even say?), Minako turned and ran back through the hall. He started to go after her, but stopped when something else caught his eye. There was a wallet-sized photograph on the floor near the far wall of the room. As he bent to pick it up, he had to pause. Somehow, he was starting to notice a pattern.

He could hear Minako searching the rooms on the second floor, still occasionally calling out for people who wouldn’t be there. Grimacing, he willed himself to pick up the picture and take a closer look.

It was yet another photograph of Minako, though more recent than the one in the hall. She was standing in front of a door, wearing a professional-looking outfit that made her look like any other college student. It was the same home they were inside now, and once again, there was enough room in the photograph for more people.

Instead of her parents standing behind her, there was only empty space.

It wasn’t much later that the foot falls from upstairs came to a halt. As the muted sound of panicked sobbing barely broke through the quiet, Shinjiro understood what ‘deathly quiet’ meant outside of the Dark Hour. He sped out of the living room and upstairs, looking into two other empty rooms before finally spotting Minako.

She sat on her knees in the center of what must have been her bedroom, half of her face lit by the natural light coming in from outside. The dissonance made bile burn at the back of his throat.

For whatever reason, this was the only room that was still fully furnished. A plush pink carpet was bunched up in places from the way she’d collapsed onto it. There was a small, neatly made bed and a desk that still had manga and notebooks covered in stickers on its small attached shelf.

Outside the only window in the room, there was a clear view of the Moonlight Bridge, leading right into Port Island. The sight made his skin crawl.

“What the hell…” Shinjiro stepped inside cautiously, paralyzed with momentary inaction. This situation was disturbing enough to begin with, but _this_ was something completely different. He had no idea how to even begin comforting her.

“Shinji… They’re gone…”

He snapped back to reality, and moved to sit on the carpet beside Minako. She hadn’t looked up yet. Her head shook in disbelief even as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. The best he could do is try and be positive.

But even he was shaking now.

“Listen, your stuff’s still here, right? Maybe, y’know, somethin’ happened suddenly.” As the words came out, he wasn’t convinced by them. She wouldn’t be either. “They’re... in the middle of packing ‘cuz they had to leave. Let’s calm down until we can figure this out.”

Her head shook more violently, this time daring to meet his gaze. Her tear-stained cheeks were pale with horror, though he’d already seen that heartbroken look on her face before. An expression of deep, profound loss.

Every new emotion clattered unpleasantly against the others already swimming in his chest, creating a uniquely unpleasant feeling that he wasn’t able to name. His the scars of his gunshot wound ached and screamed at him to do better, to do something.

He couldn’t think of anything.

“No, they’re _gone_ ,” she choked. “I just know it…! _Something_ happened, it… it must have been the car crash.”

Her hair whipped angrily around her face as she once again shook her head. He watched the battle between emotion and logic raging on her face. In her heart, she knew what happened. He knew it before she even spoke again.

“They’re dead. _They’re dead again_.”

_“I’m no philosophy expert, but maybe you’re thinkin’ too hard.”_

_Shinjiro stopped what he was doing, circling around to sit beside her on the edge of the bed. Maybe the fever was making her head swim? This kind of maudlin thought exercise wasn’t the kind of thing he expected to be on her mind. Getting comfy with the idea of dying wasn’t so easy for everyone, he supposed._

_“This is living, right? Us, together.” As if taken aback by his honestly, Minako tore her gaze from the cracked plaster ceiling, and over to him. He mentally fumbled to find his point again. Those big red eyes made it feel like he was under a white hot spotlight. “I thought I’d manage gettin’ by on my own, but I’m not so sure anymore. You comin’ back is the only reason I feel alive at all.”_

_They were both quiet, sitting in that previously unspoken truth. It was a lot to put on someone else, but yeah. No point in pretending. She was the only thing he thought about more than dying._

_Minako slowly sat up. Her loose hair fell around her tilted head, obscuring her expression as she crawled over the other side of the bed and stepped out of the room._

_“I know. Sorry.”_

“That’s… not good at all.”

Akihiko was politely quiet the entire time Shinjiro relayed the events of the previous day to him. Maybe it was because the story was so hard to believe. Even if someone heard them over the chatter at the beef bowl place, they’d probably assume it was the plot of a tv show or movie.

“No shit,” he replied, leaning back from his empty bowl to stuff both hands in his jacket pockets. “Mitsuru basically said the same. She got the Kirijo Group lookin’ for her folks first thing, and everything says they died in the car accident.”

“But we know for a fact that both Minako and Mitsuru were able to talk to them or track them down at least a few weeks ago, if not sooner.” Akihiko stared at the table, as if it would somehow give him a logical answer to this impossible question. “I understand the concept of parallel universes well enough, but this isn’t even that. It’s… _colliding_ universes. They can’t be alive and dead at the same time. This isn’t quantum physics, it’s impossible.”

Shinjiro could only snort derisively. He _didn’t_ understand even a little bit, and preferred it that way. Anything he wasn’t able to determine for himself was useless information. The only tricky part of this situation was that he couldn’t verify a goddamn thing with his own eyes.

What he was sure of was that Minako was still there, and he’d keep it that way. Yukari and Mitsuru were with her now, which was the only reason he’d left her side at all.

“I’m a slow learner and even I know the word ‘impossible’ barely means a thing anymore, Aki.”

A more or less comfortable silence descended upon them as Akihiko continued struggling with his impressions of the situation. Hell, even the surface level was a lot to swallow. If the dead can go on living, it’d change a lot for all of them. The members of SEES were far too young to carry as many corpses on their backs as they did. Maybe Shinjiro didn’t particularly care if he ever saw his parents again, for instance, but the mere possibility might be torturous for others.

“How’s Minako doing?” Akihiko emerged from whatever train of thought had caught his attention. “She was just getting better, right? I’m sure this can’t be helping.” The genuine concern he was showing made it tougher to meet his eye. It was a difficult question to answer honestly, but he didn’t have much of a choice.

“She seems… alright, weirdly enough. I dunno how to describe it, exactly.” Maybe it was the natural result of having your parents die twice within your lifetime, as far as you remember. The first loss was so hard, that the second one was easier. He couldn’t think of how else to explain it. “But she’s always been like that. The worse stuff’s the pain she buries the deepest.”

Akihiko has to visibly hide the short laugh trying to break through his lips.

“Sound familiar?”

They parted ways without managing to figure out a game plan for their leader’s predicament, but that was alright. The next full moon was coming fast, and the Kirijo Group was making good headway with the data they’d collected from their previous fights.

The strange amalgamations definitely seemed related to the shadows they encountered on their previous Full Moon Missions, which at least gave them an idea of how much longer this would go on.

Did he even dare to wonder what would happen after that?

When he returned to his apartment, Yukari and Mitsuru seemed reluctant to leave. They weren’t willing to get into the specifics of what happened while he was gone, but Yukari kept shooting worried glances back toward his bedroom. She made him promise upward of a dozen times to call them if Minako seemed like she needed a distraction. He did promise.

After girls said their second or third goodbyes, the apartment returned to it’s usual, almost-too-quiet state. Almost, besides some frequent, vaguely distant shuffling around. When he went into his bedroom, it was obvious that Minako had been busy these past two or three hours.

“You’re back! Sorry, I got a little carried away…”

Almost the entire contents of his closet had been gouged out, spread into orderly piles around the floor and the top of the bed. The bag of clothes they managed to pick up from her parents house was also out, but none of it had been touched yet. Apparently she got distracted looking for a neat place to put them away.

“Ah, no worries. I can help finish cleanin’ up. You shouldn’t have to deal with my messes anyway.” He walked past, giving her a quick, affectionate pat on the head. It was amazing to see her with so much energy, but not quite in the way that he was used to. This was a little more… manic. It probably felt good to keep busy. “I gotta get rid of this shit…”

He looked over the piles of books and old clothing, at a loss about where to start. A box on the top of a nearby stack caught his attention, however. The one he stored all of his old high school and SEES stuff in, where he found the suppressors several weeks ago.

It was as good a time as any to have a heartfelt conversation, he supposed.

“Actually, how ‘bout you take a break? There’s somethin’ I wanna show you.”

Minako paused her work, walking over to join him with a curious expression on her face. She wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. He wished that she didn’t feel the need to work so hard, but if she was feeling better, he’d take it.

“I’m not so much the sentimental type, but I had most of this shit on me when I finally left the hospital. Couldn’t bring myself to throw any of it away.” He took the top off of the box, letting Minako peek inside. She let out a small ‘oh’, eyes sweeping over the contents.

“Your SEES armband… You kept it?”

Shinjiro looked over at her, trying and failing somewhat to mask his confusion. Well, yeah, the armband was in there, but that wasn’t what he thought she’d focus on. When he looked back into the box, he immediately realized what the issue was.

After taking out the suppressors and his evoker, the only things left should have been his armband and the disfigured remnants of his pocket watch.

 _Should have been_. But the watch was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s…?” He trailed off, having difficulty even verbalizing his bewilderment. If he hadn’t looked in the box in years, he might have been able to believe that he simply misplaced the keepsake. But it was just there. He saw it _so recently_ that he remembered exactly how the sight of it formed a mixed up, sickening ball of emotions right in the pit of his stomach.

He looked over at Minako, making an effort to keep his voice calm and even.

“You didn’t open this, right? Or take anything out of it?”

From the way she looked at him, he could tell the questions came out sounding like an accusation. Regardless, she confidently shook her head.

“Of course not! I wouldn’t go through your things, Shinji.” She was frowning, understandably unable to follow his logic. If she’d never opened it before, after all, she had no way of knowing if anything was missing. “If I found anything loose, I tried to put it in a pile that made sense, or on your desk. Your books are all over there, and I found a few--”

“ _No_ , it’s… It’s not that.” He only realized he cut her off after he’d already done it. Shinjiro reached into the box, fruitlessly fishing around for any sign of metal hidden beneath the fabric. But it was as empty as it looked at first glance. “My watch. It was here, but… You know, the watch you found for me.”

He took a step back, running a hand through his hair. It was just a stupid hunk of metal. Why did the fact that it was missing matter so much to him? His heart was pounding in his ears, making it harder to hear. The noise made it harder to see. He couldn’t even remember the last time he felt so hopelessly furious.

“It saved my life, even though I didn’t care if I died. I _should’ve_ died, but I wasn’t able to ‘cuz of you.” Shinjiro didn’t know what to do with his body. He looked hard into the box’s interior, as if expecting it to just reappear if he explained himself. “It’s the reason I got to meet you again. It’s _important_. Why’s it gone…?”

It was quiet for a moment. Minako didn’t move from where she was standing, still well within reaching distance of him. Was he scary when he said things like that? He had no idea. The dull pain in his chest hadn’t gone since yesterday, but now it was ripping apart his insides.

“Why do you say things like that?”

For a split second, he didn’t recognize her voice. When he tore his eyes away from the box and over to Minako, he was met with a furious fire in her eyes that he’d never really seen before. Her fists were balled at her sides. Her voice didn’t waver. She didn’t look like she was going to cry.

“...What d’you mean? Things like…?”

She shook her head once again, taking a step forward with such intensity that he had to take an equal step back.

“Why do you talk about dying like that? We came so close to dying… I _have_ died!” Even if there was room for him to speak, he didn’t know what to say. The words came out so quickly, woven together with such venom that he was sure it wasn’t the first time she’d entertained these questions. “So why? Why would you rather hurt, or be dead than live?”

He stuttered uselessly. Shinjiro needed a moment to recover from the sudden outburst, willing himself to lean closer to her. His anger was fading fast, only to be replaced with a desperate need to mend _her_ anger. He couldn’t think of a good way to answer.

Before now, she only asked him these kinds of questions in his nightmares.

“That’s… I don’t mean it like that.” He swallowed. That was a lie no matter which way you spun it. “All I wanna do is be with you. I mean that, Minako. I’ll quit talkin’ about that stuff if you want, I swear.”

She bit her lip, looking entirely unmoved by his protests.

“Living shouldn’t be this hard. Sometimes… I wonder if you liked me better when I was dead.”

They were both quiet again after that. Shinjiro didn’t have it in him to dig deep inside for a way to continue this argument, and even Minako seemed troubled by the gravity of her own statement. He began to reach out to take her hand, but she turned away sharply. She zipped up the bag of her clothing on his bed, and swung it over her shoulder.

“I’m really sorry, Shinji. I can’t do this right now.” She was looking directly at him, but he wasn’t able to meet her gaze again. Not after how it has just burned through him with such cold honesty. “I’ll… go see if I can stay with Fuuka for a bit. I’m not helping you by being here.”

Shinjiro wondered if he could say anything to make her stay, but it didn’t really matter. His voice wasn’t working, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he had to think about what she said.

When someone was dead, there was no way to for you to disappoint them. You could remember them as perfect, and tell yourself that you owe everything you are to their intervention in your life. When he tried to do good things for other people, was it only for the sake of her memory? Was he a worse, more selfish person since she came back into his life?

He wasn’t sure how much longer Minako stayed with him, because when he looked up again, she was already gone. Alone, surrounded by the clutter of his past, it was hard not to feel like he was getting something he deeply deserved. He let out a slightly shaky sigh, and went back to work cleaning up the mess.

It was like being on autopilot. Shinjiro wasn’t even sure how much time had passed, but he thinned the piles of old memories, and even allowed himself to throw a few things away. He finally knew he was making progress when some of Minako’s things began to appear at the bottoms of the piles. It would probably be best to keep those all in one place, just in case she asked for any of them while she was gone.

He neatened up a small pile of her cosmetics. A cute little hand mirror, a few lip colors, mascara, hair pins, and colorful elastic bands. Lastly, he picked up a compact, shaped like a rounded clamshell. When it tilted to the side in his palm, it made a strange rattling sound. It was strange enough that he did it again, once or twice more.

Even he knew makeup didn’t make a noise like that.

Shinjiro opened the plastic clasp, seeing only a hollowed out inside at first. This sort of thing usually had a mirror, a makeup pot, or some kind of puffy white thing in it, but a jagged piece of plastic at the inside of the hinge showed that something had been ripped out to make more room.

Inside, sitting in the curved base, was a large pile of pills. Enough to cover Minako’s daily dose of suppressors for the past few weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for you patience. I didn't mean to go on a six month hiatus but, you know, sometimes that just happens.
> 
> I'm going to talk about the reason I was gone for a bit below, because it's a little bit important to me to make a note of it. 
> 
>  
> 
> CW for personal family death mention.
> 
>  
> 
> In early April, my dad passed away completely unexpectedly at age 57. I already had this chapter planned at that time, but that event made it very important to me that I get out the feeling of just talking to your parents, only to have them gone the very next moment. I live three hours away from my family. There was a point where I saw him for the last time and never even realized it, because it was par for the course for me to be away from him for months at a time.
> 
> I visited my dad's house, but my dad wasn't there. It felt strange.
> 
> It took a long time before I was ready to write this chapter. I knew I wanted to get some of what I was feeling into it. Even though I had the scene at Minako's parent's house planned out months ago, I wonder how it would have been different if I wrote it in March. 
> 
> Her situation is nothing like mine. This isn't autobiographical in the slightest, but a feeling of loss doesn't have to be.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. As of right now, two chapters to go.

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing P3P fic back in 2011 and now here I am. I missed writing and I'd really like to finish a beefy multi-chapter story so I can start working on my first big original fiction project this year, and I'm considering this my big fat warmup.
> 
> Dedicated to the 3 very passionate Shinjiro/Minako shippers left in the year of our lord 2017.


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